Hi my mum had her first chemo session last week it properly floored her! She’s usually a pro active person. But she’s in so much pain, she moves around the house and she’s exhausted. I live with her and we’ve always “shared the load” but I’m having to do everything including looking after her which I am more than happy to do she’s my mum. But I’m exhausted. I feel like I’m going insane nobody seems to understand. My sister lives miles away and doesn’t help which you know with kids and works etc I know it must be hard for her an when she does come round usually to take mum up to hospital (I go to her appointments with her too chemo etc) there’s always a comment about something not being in it’s place or how much mess there is but it just feels like because I don’t have a family or partner of my own that this is my role in life. Mine seems to have disappeared in front of my eyes an she doesn’t get it. My mum is in a lot of pain and get frustrated so tempers fray. My sister barely speaks to me, doesn’t always acknowledge I’ve said anything when I’ve joined in on a conversations and other times I might as well be invisible. It’s just so hard - I’m exhausted.
Hi @rach45 and welcome to the forum.
I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum starting chemotherapy and that you’re having such a tough time too.
You will find that here on the forum that there is a hugely supportive group of people.
I’m sorry that you’re carrying so much of the load.
If you wanted to talk with someone the wonderful @BloodCancerUK-SupportTeam and their Nurses are a great resource.
Here is a link with details on how to contact
If you have a Maggies Centre near you, they are also a great source of support too.
Do take care. Best wishes to you, your Mum and family at this difficult time.
Thank you @DuncanB for your kind words. It is difficult. Mum had a bad night bless her so only a couple of hours sleep for me. Thank you for the links I may just contact them not sure about maggies house but I’ll definitely look into it.
Thank you for reading and posting a reply it has made my morning a better one knowing I can come on here. Also just seen the Friday jukebox thread! So will definitely be popping on there I love music and having word association is an excellent idea fabulous!
Hi @rach45
I’m glad that my reply helped. Sometimes it can all get too much for us whether the patient or the carer.
The Friday Forum Jukebox Thread is hugely popular and if you love music you will definitely enjoy.
Someone typically suggests a couple of words Friday morning and gets the ball rolling with a couple of songs.
Here’s a link to the Maggie’s Centres just in case that’s helpful.
https://www.maggies.org/our-centres/
I’ve found them a fantastic place and if there’s one near the hospital your Mum is having her treatment then you have a beautiful space for coffee and biscuits plus the wonderful staff and volunteers away from the busyness of the hospital.
Take care
Hi @rach45, welcome to the forum. Having just read your post, all I can say is no wonder you’re wiped out.
When someone we love is ill, all the focus rightly goes to them, but the person stood next to them holding everything together can just get forgotten and juggling their loved one’s needs alongside work, other people who need looking after, and usually their own health too, ends up falling somewhere near the bottom of the ‘to do’ list. We’ve got a webpage that speaks to this here, which I hope you might find helpful.
Mike and Duncan have already mentioned Maggie’s, which are a brill organisation.
Families under this kind of pressure often end up scratchy with each other over nothing, and it’s rubbish, but it’s common. It doesn’t mean what you’re doing isn’t important, even if nobody’s saying so.
Really glad the Jukebox thread caught your eye. Will look forward to your recommendations!
Take care,
Ceri - Blood Cancer UK Support Services