Thank you both, I’m feeling a little lost and lonely today with lots of thoughts going around in my head. I need to find a time to pop along when my sister isn’t at home, it’s hard being the relative as I feel selfish admitting to my sister I need help. She’s told me she needs me to be strong so that’s what I need to do.
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I know my husband and family found it really difficult and it’s so important you have somebody to talk to as well x
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Are you and your family doing ok now? xx
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Oh @DanielleH It certainly is not easy being a family member and/or carer.
You show how clearly how your sister and you are dealing with the situation differently.
There is no right or wrong way.
However I reckon that you show great strength knowing that you need some help.
I do not expect that your sister realises the pressures she is putting you under asking you to be strong for her.
xxxx
Thank you for your support over the last few days, it has come at a time that I’ve really needed it. It’s made me miss my mum so much more. I promise that once I have been to Maggie’s I will let you know how I get on. I suffered with depression after I lost my dad and I think it is kicking in again now.
@Karpeta I hope that you are doing ok, please keep in touch, even if you just want to chat about nonsense to keep your mind off things. My mum and I liked to watch movies where people got butt kickings so, I very much wait to hear your story xx
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We are - I’m seven years on from a lymphoma diagnosis and on active monitoring.
I know how hard they find it when I have my check ups though, yet they to try to stay strong for me. We are much better at talking about things now, just when I feel ready. It gets easier to navigate conversations and I do realise how hard it is for family as well as me x
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I am so glad you are doing well and your family too. It is scary for loved ones when appointments come around. It’s good that you can all talk about things, I don’t think enough of us do that these days. We just tend to make up the blanks and our thoughts grow arms and legs. I will admit that I am so bad for doing that xx
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Oh @DanielleH perhaps your grief and loss is naturally just compounding itself.
Perhaps as you say now is the time to seek help before your depression really sets in as I think it is so much easier to sink down into that black hole than to clamber back up out of it.
I am a very visual person and I think the descriptive way that you say that our thoughts grow arms and legs (and even octopus tentacles) is so true, thank you, it is my thought for the day.
I think trying to make yourself strong must be exhausting, perhaps you can be really honest how it is to be you with your forum family here.
Be ever so kind to yourself
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I think the grief is manageable when life is just plodding along but the worry and fear of losing my sister in the future is too much. Mum’s cancer journey was such a roller coaster of highs and lows that I worry it will be the same for my sister. It’s only been 4 months since we lost mum it’s all too raw to go through again. My cat has been my absolute rock, when I came home on Wednesday after my sister giving me the news, I sat on mum’s bed and cried. My cat came up the stairs, jumped on my lap and purred and nudged me until I felt better. I highly recommend pets to anyone who is struggling, they show such empathy. He even chased a giant spider this morning after it made me jump!
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Oh @DanielleH yes, I can really understand your feelings in your post and what a brilliant supportive, empathic rock your cat is.
Really look after yourself
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