Hi, my husband has just been diagnosed with smouldering myeloma, and the anxiety, panic we both feel is so overwhelming, and know having to inform our children, who are adults, but we want to protect them still. How do you cope with the emotional side of things.
1 Like
Hi @Dawno123 and a big welcome to the forum.
The emotional impact can be so difficult. My children were much younger when we had to tell them about my lymphoma. However, I don’t think it matters what age they are, of course you want to protect them. I think this was the most difficult part and I still feel a knot in my tummy when I think about it.
I think the emotional impact, panic and anxiety is so heightened at the beginning of the journey. For me, it then worsens around check up and test times. Counselling really helped and I have had this at different points over the last 7 years. Open and honest communication with my husband was key as I know as the partner, he was going through a hard time to trying to hold it all together.
As time has gone on I manage my stress better. I know my body well, trust in my medical team and am better at recognising what is anxiety and when something doesn’t feel right.
I’m sure others will share their experiences. In the meantime, I have copied a link to some useful information which also has the support line number at the end. They are amazing and it may be worth talking this through with them before you have the conversation.
I was very factual - told them exactly what I knew and gave them time to ask questions. I initially kept a lot from them. However, talking to them about it later on made me realise this caused them more worry. It won’t be easy but just be honest and open. They will want to be there to support you both.
Please let me know how it goes. I really do know how difficult this. You’ll be in my thoughts.
Nichola X
3 Likes
Aww thank you for the information and replying back, I just feel so lost and lonely and don’t want to put any of the pressure onto my husband, but hopefully this forum will help 
3 Likes
Hi there
I have been living with myeloma for 8 years
I was diagnosed after a gall bladder infection and my myeloma had been active 6-8 months
My kids were 15 and 19 and I was open and honest from the beginning what it was and what was happening. I invited them to ask questions and those I couldn’t answer I asked my consultant.
As a single mum I didn’t want my kids to be my carer just to be there when I needed them
Kids aren’t daft even when they are older they know something is wrong and I feel it’s better to be up front than them going away thinking all sorts usually with the wrong answers
They may also want to support you and your hubby and be part of the journey.
My advice be open with each other on how you feel.
As the patient you try to make sure that everyone else is ok and sometimes say everything is fine when it isn’t.
Life is precious be open be honest and accept help from those around you.
It’s ok not to be strong and it’s ok to cry. It’s ok to share your fears and your hopes. If you can’t say it write a letter
You got this 
3 Likes
Thank you for your advice it’s great comfort, my hubby has to go every 3 months for blood tests, I think the first few time is going to be difficult worrying if anything has changed, hopefully it stays the same x
3 Likes
Hi, we have told the kids( grown up kids) and they have been amazing and so supportive, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders if you know what I mean, and thank you x
3 Likes
That’s brilliant support is so important 
2 Likes
That’s really great to hear
1 Like