Hello @Nethermoor,
Thank you so much for being so open with your situation and i am so sorry to hear of the really difficult place you found yourself in. I am also very sorry to hear of the loss of your wife. I do hope you are coping okay?
I am quite possibly unable to add anything new to what others have so brilliantly replied to you with, but something we do know all too well is how terrifying and stark the stem cell transplant discussions can be. It often leaves people questioning their decision and can also allow for more conversation with others who have experienced stem cell and can share their journey. i do hope you are able to find this in our forum and possible via Real stories | Anthony Nolan.
You have articulated your concerns just brilliantly and it is so important to do so with the transplant team and indeed your own team who will be able to further offer support and hopefully reassurance to you.
Also in case it is helpful i have linked here to a previous thread within our forum which has also raised simialr concnerns- Hi I’m being advised to have SCT and I’m very worried. I would be grateful to hear from people thank you - Going through treatment - Blood Cancer UK Forum
Please do know that if you would like to talk anything through with our support service team, we are always just a phone call away- Blood cancer information and support by phone and email | Blood Cancer UK
Do Take Care and keep planning those incredible hiking trips, Lauran