12 years since diagnosis…
I’m wondering if there are other people here who had APL a number of years ago? My diagnosis was in 2010 and, although cancer free, I still live with some of the after effects - both physical and psychological. I’m looking to share experiences of how others ‘feel now’ as I still re-live some of the experiences of being in isolation in hospital etc and I’m feeling it’s a bit ridiculous to be feeling this 12 years later.
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Oh @Kangafeet a great big welcome to our forum.
I have a different blood cancer and I was diagnosed 18 yrs ago and I can still relieve the day of my diagnosis, and several other points through my journey, as vividly as if they were yesterday.
It is certainly not ridiculous they have been world changing and unique times.
As for hospital stays I always feel that loneliness, it is a horrible feeling.
Do I need counselling now and I honestly do not feel I do, I just accept those feelings.
Join the club I am sure there are others on here that feel the same, we are human, we have gone through traumatic times however some people might feel counselling might help.
The main thing is that you keep posting on here how you are feeling you are part of our forum family and the Blood Cancer UK support line is also there for you.
Look after and be kind to yourself.
Not ridiculous at all @Kangafeet . I was diagnosed 4 years ago and though I’ve been stable for about 3 of those years, it will take me a long time to get over my experiences before and after diagnosis and some of the treatments I had. The effects are not always physical. Be kind to yourself.
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You are definitely not alone in the way you feel. I don’t think things are ever the same. Although my diagnosis wasn’t as long ago as your (5 years NHL lymphoma) it still feels like yesterday! I still have relive moments so vividly; procedures and hospital stays etc.
glad to have you on the forum. Never alone here! 
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Hi @Kangafeet
Having had 4 months in isolation in hospital myself for Acute Myeloid Leukaemia, I can honestly say I don’t imagine I’ll ever be free of the experience - it was so traumatising. It’s still a fairly recent thing for me, but I don’t expect to erase it completely from my thoughts. I say to myself that someone in a terrible car accident wouldn’t forget it, and nor would a freed hostage, for example - so it’s a bit much that I sometimes expect myself to live as if it never hsppened, or to not go over it in my mind. I think it’s normal to. We’re human and we go over the fantastic and the terrible events of our lives. But if it’s bothering you too often, could you access counselling from your surgery, perhaps? That might help reduce the time it takes up in your mind. Or keep talking to us here. We understand.
All the best.
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