Feeling overwhelmed and in shock

Hi Anna and @blackhat I agree that knowledge is power and from my diagnosis time I was advised to take responsibility for my condition, although I did not understand what it meant then. I attend all my local hospitals open board meetings (the hospital is affiliated to the Royal Marsden) and I am a hospital member so I know what is going on at the hospital and I can also respond to consultation documents etc. My local (well known) pharmacy now hasn’t got a permanent pharmacist, they seem to rotate daily which means there is no continuity of responsibility and care unfortunately. I feel sorry for the permanent staff working there, they have to pick up the pieces and deal with the public. The permanent staff are brilliant.


Hi All,

I think what didn’t help me was just trying to get on with it and not taking the time to actually acknowledge how huge this was. I was an expert at saying ‘there are a lot more people worse off and although cancer, not the worst it could be!’ All the things you would never dream of thinking or saying to somebody else. Perhaps at the time this was just a coping strategy - going back to work straight away after diagnosis, taking no time off through treatment, all a distraction but 18 months on and looking back I would say that the worst thing you can do. You need to take take time to really process things, even if that means having a few bad weeks. Through counselling I’ve been advised to think a lot about what I would say to someone else in my position and to take that advice. It’s certainly the complete opposite of the hard time I give myself. So that’s the challenge isn’t it, being kind to yourself, not something we are all good at!


Hi Nichola, yes, I always say we need to take care of ourselves and treat ourselves and I am absolutely useless at it, although I am very slowly getting better. I am so used to looking after others and putting them first. Growing up I was told it was a quality to do so and the message I got was if I was a good girl I would be wanted and loved. I was also told it was a quality not to show emotion and I do not think it has done me any good health wise to stuff my emotions down. Keep taking on the challenge.

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They were all we had and we were thirsty for knowledge so yes they were very useful at the time. We still have them. The body book was very usedul giving us a basic understanding of the different functions of blood cells and how the bone marrow worked.