Hi @Hill17, and welcome to the Forum - though I’m sorry to hear you’re carrying that worry.
You’re definitely not alone with this feeling as someone in active monitoring. But as lovely @Erica and @Iain have shared in this thread, many people live really well with Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia ('CLL') on active monitoring for a very long time.
There’s an inactive but lovely supportive thread here that might be worth a read, and if you’d fancy posting in it then there’d likely still be a number of people in it who are active. And if you scroll to the bottom of this thread you’ll also find the Related section, which shows other conversations that might be useful.
We also have some information specifically about CLL and watch and wait on our website, which might be helpful.
As @Jules linked in response to someone earlier in the thread, if you’d like to talk any of this through with one of our fantastic Blood Cancer UK nurses our free Support Line is always there on 0808 2080 888 (option 1) or support@bloodcancer.org.uk.
Keep posting whenever you need to.
Ceri - Blood Cancer UK Support Services