I’m sorry I’m back here moaning, I’m just having an awful day. I started on Imatinib (spelled wrong I’m sure) last Wednesday, I’m so so exhausted and today I have diarrhoea which I’ve not had for at least 10 years. I’ve also got it in my head that I also have other cancers. Prior to my diagnosis I was convinced I had ovarian cancer as I was constantly bloated and had a pain where my right ovary is, that pain is still there now and just scared that if I mention it again to my consultant I will have to have a scan and they’ll find other cancers - why am I so petrified, I feel like I have some kind of ptsd or something, I’m actually physically shaking today.
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Oh bless you
I would highly recommend calling your consultant/nurse/advice line re diarrhoea
There may well be something they can give you and let them know you’re exhausted and struggling to cope.
I inform my consultant of pain that persists
You could have a scan and not find any other cancers
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They’ve asked for a scan but I can’t bring myself to find out that there are more cancers - I’m too scared to know if I’m dying.
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Hi @CarlaWild.
It sounds like you are having a really horrible day and it must be really tough with all those thoughts running around.
I still go through days when I panic more than others and think lots of us can relate to how you are feeling.
Would you consider giving the helpline a ring? It might really help to talk things through. Here is the link.
And please, never apologise for posting. It’s not moaning, it’s letting us know how you feel because we understand X
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Oh @CarlaWild I am so sorry that you are having such an awful day.
Perhaps it is a good idea to talk to your medical team and say exactly what you have said to us.
Also perhaps your GP might be able to suggest some help with your feelings.
You have so much going on at the moment, I really feel for you, you must be exhausted and drained emotionally, physically, medically and practically. Then you have diarrhoea, and probably hot weather, on top of all that.
My emotions have been on high alert since I was diagnosed…
Personally I would rather have it confirmed if I have or don’t have conditions, otherwise my imagination goes into overdrive and I imagine things visually in my mind.
Please do consider giving the Blood Cancer UK support line that @Nichola75 has given you, I have found them lovely.
Please do keep posting on here how you are doing
Be ever so kind to yourself, physically shaking must be so scary.
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@CarlaWild you hinted at your job, which I guess may be front line experiences of all that humanity can throw at one another?
I too am waiting on the process of seeing if I have skin cancer, which given I have just gotten on Polycythaemia vera (PV) treatment, would be about right with my luck this last few years.
The point being, one cancer is like the pebble in the pond and each ripple has us thinking another is on the way. Add into the mix, the stresses from your job and the cancer has given an outlet to all the other stuff inside you.
You just have to let the emotion go and follow the medical route of answers, better to know than keep double guessing.
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I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling rough. I just wanted to say as others already have that exhaustion and diarrhea are both really common side effects of many cancer treatments but it’s definitely worth mentioning these to your doctor, but there are things they can do to help, like anti-diarrheal medication or adjusting your Imatinib dose.
It’s also totally normal to be scared of other cancers after a diagnosis. I get worried about a pain in my big toe.If you’re worried about that pain, definitely mention it to your doctor. They might be able to check it out without a whole new round of scans.Remember, your doctor is there to listen to your concerns. Don’t hesitate to bring anything up, no matter how small it seems.
Remember, you’re not alone in this. There are lots of people going through similar experiences, and this group is a great place to vent and get support.
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It’s horrible if I had pushed the dr and followed my instincts I would probably be better off than I think I am now. I have follicular lymphoma that was discovered last Friday during a breast biopsy and am starting with my team Monday I am a nurse and I just in my heart knew something was wrong but I didn’t push it. I have pretty bad RA and it seems as though they blamed everything on that. Let that be a warning to you all if you feel a lump that comes and goes make them biopsy it! The system is broken!!! Good luck to you I would def call my team and I got myself Ativan so I could cope. Sounds like that would be a good idea for you. Sending positive vibes and blessings your way.
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Hi @Nursebetty welcome to our forum I am so glad you have found us.
I sometimes feel that being a medical person is a mixed blessing and actually most of us are in shock and our thoughts and feelings all over the place…
It has taken me many years to be ‘pleasantly assertive’, and in your position you probably don’t want to come across as pushy.
.Many of us on here have actually been diagnosed via a different medical specialism, mine was a gynaecologist.
It is difficult as any lump or bump or pain and In think it is my leukaemia.
I am glad that you are starting to be looked after now,
Before Monday perhaps will give you the opportunity to write down your questions and practicalities you might like to ask.
Be really kind to yourself and please do use our forum to say how it really is for you, I look forward in hearing more about you. Let us know how Monday goes.
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@Erica I love your expression pleasanty assertive - I need lessons. My husband describes me as bossy !
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