How do you deal with people that want to visit you at home and are anti- vax?
A really interesting question @Rolande, thank you for starting this thread. How are you doing?
Hi. Only vaccinated visitors in our household.
Hi @Norwich and welcome to the forum.
Have you got friends and family that haven’t been vaccinated? I was interested to find out how they respond to your decision. I look forward to finding out more about you
A really interesting question. Has this been an issue for you?
Hi. I was diagnosed with T-cell Large Granular Lymphocytic Leukaemia in October 2021 - I have had mild lymphocytisis for 4 years… I am not on treatment yet but on watchful waiting in primary care.
My partner has a myeloproliferative neoplasm (essential thrombocythemia) and is on cytotoxic treatment. We have no nearby family and all visiting friends have been vaccinated.
I’m glad friends have all been vaccinated. It makes it easier doesn’t it. How have you been keeping over the last couple of years. It’s been challenging hasn’t it!
I’m on watch and wait to for follicular lymphoma. It’s good to find out a bit more about you
Very good question @Rolande! I only know a couple of people who are anti-vaccine - one being a friend from way back that I haven’t seen for years because she was living overseas.
We’ve both had a traumatic couple of years with awful life-events, and we’ve consoled each other a little. However, I was surprised to find (because she has a science degree) that she’s very anti-vaccine and all the protective measures. I was upset to hear this, and said that because I am immunocompromised, I’m for all measures because they’re a matter of life and death to me - but I didn’t criticise her stance. She did seem to try to get a rise out of me about it, but I refused to bite.
She then asked to come and visit me this summer! I really didn’t know how to respond without offending her, but my feeling was, absolutely not. I eventually said it would be lovely to see her, if she could do a lateral flow test for a couple of days before travelling, and one on arrival. I decided to myself that should she come back to me with dates, I’d say I had spoken to my consultant about it, and he strongly advised against it. But she didn’t suggest dates in the end.
I have a feeling she was testing how prepared I was to block friendships on the basis of not having the vaccine. But if that is so, she really hasn’t understood how dangerous covid is to people in our position. Or perhaps she doesn’t even believe covid exists! I think she’s a bit messed up after tragic events that happened during a covid lockdown. I’ve barely heard from her since. I’m sort of relieved. I find people don’t want the vaccine or to wear a mask for selfish reasons, and it puts me off them completely.
Have you had any awkward conversations along these lines?
I find it really sad that any anti vaxxer would want to put someone immunosuppressed at risk. Everyone is entitled to have an opinion but if someone not vaccinated wanted to visit my husband I wouldn’t be worried about saying no. If they were upset they obviously wouldn’t be the friend I thought they were.
Luckily all my family and close friends are vaccinated, close family are keen to have boosters asap and if visiting they all have Covid tests and keep away if unwell.
One of my closest friends is not vaccinated and as I have non hodgkins lymphoma since Jan 2020 i have only met her on a few occasions outside and she is happy to lateral flow before meeting me . She also knows we cant hug anymore and we decided not to discuss the vaccine as could lead to an argument. All my family are double if not triple vaccinated.
Great attitude, @summer123. Strangely, if it were my husband, I would probably be more firm, ha ha! And I suppose I was conscious my ‘friend’ is not her best self at the moment. But you’re right - are they really being a friend?
Glad to hear all your nearest and dearest are vaccinated. Hope your husband is doing ok.
It is tricky isn’t it? I belonged to an art group which sadly contains a virulent anti mask/ anti vax /“if we all became vegan and lived a healthy lifestyle Covid would not be a problem” person. A powerful personality whom few except me would challenge but I just gave up and deleted myself from the email list I have some colleagues at the uni who are anti vaccine but as a part timer I just avoid them, also some students in my group but almost all have already had Covid so I hope that helps, plus I insist they wear a mask in small seminar rooms. I did have some family in Germany who were anti vaccine but luckily the current crisis has changed their minds but very hard I think if someone you care about was anti vax it would feel to me as if they (esp if they were anti mask too) did not care for my welfare at all.
Wise not to lose a close friend over the vaccine, @Mandi713, and very wise not to discuss the issue!
Blimey, @Ismo, you seem to come across a lot of anti-vaxxers. I’m glad you insist on masks in small rooms. It would feel very hurtful to me also, if a person close to me wouldn’t get vaccinated. Keep safe.
Well @Fullofbeans perhaps they proliferate at unis? I am not in a science faculty but I do know of a couple of anti vaxers even there too so perhaps higher education is no protection against illogical thinking? As for Germany in my Lande it is a hangover from the old DDR when the state told you what to do and of course memories of the Hitlerzeit and compulsory medical procedures.
Well, I suppose every view is represented at university, and in youth one tends to be more anti-establishment and anti-‘the nanny state,’ having just freed oneself from the parental establishment and its nannying! And yes, I can see why certain views may proliferate more in Germany, with certain memories in mind. We are all a product of our recent history, I suppose.
I hope you feel safe at work, and that people respect your needs and health, whatever their views arè. Not an easy time to be working in a busy place with those that don’t want to get vaccinated. I used to teach, but I don’t think I could go back to that now. But I do need to find some work…
Hope you’re well and managing the general situation.
Hi @Norwich welcome to our forum and glad to hear only vaccinated in your household.
You have found us now and we are your forum family.
I also wear my mask if I have to go out, and that is only to medical appointments and my daily walk.
All my family and friends understand luckily.
You say you and your partner both have your own diagnosis, how have you both been in Covid times?
Hi @Rolande, I know this sounds harsh but I think you find out who your real friends are when you explain your health challenges and boundaries and they do not respect them.
Our flat is a no go area.
I look forward to hearing more details about your situation.
Fullofbeans you are right I am far stronger than my husband about who can see him. He hates thinking he has hurt anyones feeling. Often he wants to see our Granddaughter but gets annoyed when myself and daughter say no she has a cold or ear infection.
He doesn’t call me Nurse Ratchett for no reason ( for fans of One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest)
I do have family in Sweden but they don’t seem to see Covid is a problem, very low cases where they live so they seem to resent having vaccines and wearing mask, they were hoping to spend Christmas in UK but due to potential restrictions they have decided not to - phew!
Hi @Erica. We were a shielding household as mandated by the NHS and we stuck to that. We had all shopping delivered and our local Asda gave us a free 6 month delivery pass from first lockdown.