I think I might have Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (CLL) or something even worse and I cannot stop crying.
I am a 29F. In October 2024 I had a massive boil underarm. Went to the doctor and he told me it was just a normal boil and he will give me a blood test. I wasn’t worried at all as the boil went away in 2 weeks. However, the blood test result really made me anxious.
My Lymphocytes was 5 and white blood cell was 10.6 overall, FILM was normal too and that it might be due to some reaction to infection/inflammation. I still did not worry thinking it was most likely due to the boil. He asked me test again in few months. Went to Japan and had my 15 days trip in November. Ended up having a slight fever by the end of November which went away after I took some rest.
I tested again beginning of January and this time my lymphocyte was 5.3 and white blood cell was 11.9. Again the FILM came out normal and they didn’t see anything strange in the FILM.
Doctor thought it is a bit strange that it hasn’t gone down in 3 months. I do not have any other symptoms. No lymph nodes yet, no night sweats, no constant fevers. I do have a bit of sinus issues though.
My CRP was also a bit elevated this time and it was 6.
I am going to ask my GP to refer me to a hematologist so that I can rule out anything else. I cannot take this uncertainty anymore.
I really want to live. I got married in 2022. I love my family, my husband and I was thinking of getting pregnant soon. I have a picture perfect life, and maybe, that was the issue. Perhaps happiness does not last long after all.
Oh @Glittery95 welcome to our forum and I reckon you have been ‘googling’.
Your anxiety comes from your post.
I think the not knowing what going on is anxiety making and I have found that there is is lot of waiting around and not knowing.
The symptoms you describe could be anything or nothing.
Yes, perhaps write down your fears, questions and practicalities for your GP and what you are asking them for.
A great big congratulations both of you on your marriage.
Can you talk with your husband about everything.
You say you really want to live, but just to say I have had Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (CLL) for 21 yrs and it gave me the opportunity to look what I wanted out of life and with whom. I am far less materialistic. The best things in life for me are free like family and friends and yes, smiling, laughing and being happy.
Please do let us know how you get on and I look forward to hearing more about you.
Be very kind to yourself
Thank you for your message Erica.
For some reason my post has been taken down. Not sure why.
You are right. I am googling all the symptoms. I am constantly looking for symptoms in my body now.
I did read in other posts about your Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (CLL) journey and can I just say that I absolutely love how positive you are. You do inspire me a lot.
My CRP is 6 too now. I am not sure what the future holds for me.
Hi @Glittery95 I think you have hit on a common problem with ‘googling’ is that you can read a symptom and then some people imagine they have it.
i.e. fatigue and headaches, obsessing I find can be fatiguing and gives me a headache and if I keep on poking myself I will make the place sore.
That is why I try and divert my mind.
We all have good and bad days.
None of us knows what the future brings otherwise if we were betting people we would make a fortune.
You are doing brilliantly and please do keep posting
Welcome to our forum and I’m glad you felt able to reach out for some support.
I’m sorry to hear about your blood results and the anxiety it is causing you. It is understandable that you’re feeling worried. Its difficult not to google things but this can often make you more anxious as we naturally think the worse.
With any concerns you have about your health, we would strongly encourage you to go and discuss with your GP. Have you been able to speak to them about your feelings and concerns? It’s understandable if you feel scared, please know you’re not alone in that, but they are there to help and will understand and its reassuring that they are checking your bloods regularly.
Blood results can vary due to a number of reasons. I have linked in some information on blood cells values here so you can compare with your own Blood cells | Blood Cancer UK CRP is generally used to measure for infection or inflammation in the body rather than blood cancer.
We’d be really happy to talk things over with you if this would help? You can call and speak to one of the nurses on 0808 2080 888. We’re currently open 10am to 4pm on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Friday, 10am to 7pm on Tuesdays, and 10am to 1pm on Saturdays.