I realise I cannot live the same life as before Coronavirus came into the world but I, one who is extremely nervous, have been taking small steps to re-aquaint myself with the world over the last little while.
Firstly I have almost caught up with all the appointments I missed from 2020 onwards. Six different parts of my body have been checked out over the last few months, plus I have also got some counselling help due to anxiety. However, doing this has helped me taken other small steps.
In some cases where distance was involved, and we do not drive, been taking cabs to different medical appointments when necessary. This is because I wear my PPF3 mask and and powder free vynal gloves and can have the cab windows wide open. However, twice now, I have taken very short journeys on buses at a time of day when they are empty. En route, after one of my appointments, had coffee outside and a meal outside - again for the first time since before Covid arrived in the UK. I also managed to go into my local M & S, Boots and another local store - again at a quieter time of the day. My husband and I felt like we had arrived from Mars, it seemed so strange! Have also tried out a few takeaways which we did not do over the last few years and I have now done something I would not have dreamed of a few months ago.
In a couple of weeks it will be my birthday and I have actually booked theatre tickets. The theatre is the place where I can truly relax and escape. Will make sure I will be going into Liverpool Street, London on a train carriage with open windows access and will arrive before the rush hour. At Spitalfields Market, nearby, there are tons of cafes that are out in the open, so picking one of these will be safe for me. From there, will get a short cab ride to the theatre - no busses due to full of the unmasked and again, cabs offer a divider in them and open windows for passengers.
I have chosen the theatre especialy for its layout. They do not have boxes but have what they call Tiers. On Tear 1 - sort of equivalent to the Circle seats, they have seats, that in one part of the theatre, consist of only two rows. I have got a seat at the end of a row, sitting next to my husband and it is the first row. So infront of me, there will be nobody, to one side my husband and the other side nobody. This may sound crazy, but I want to put the odds on my side as much as possible so that I can continue my love of the theatre. I just pray and hope this will work. It involved a lot of research, so hope I will be ok. After going out on my medical appointments, I tend to get very stressed so check myself so to calm me down, so no doubt I will do this again.
Just one more thing - I saw my best friend, who visited me and we went to have a walk in the park. This was the first time since 2019 that we saw each other. Cannot tell you how wonderful that is.
So my progress is slow, but getting there. Just hope I can manage more shows, if practical, some cinema, if practical, going back to my club and the biggest dream of all, going abroad on holiday.
I feel I have come back from a war, yet there is still the cloud of my husband’s illness hanging over us. It is so hard to be brave. Still to paraphrase an astronaut, one small step…