So sorry to hear this @Ruthiebabe1. As @Erica says, we’re all here for you if ever you want to share anything and talk things through.
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Hello @TM1972 I was wondering how you’ve been doing over the past couple of weeks. Hope you’re doing okay.
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You are not alone. I thought I was until I saw this forum and received messages of support.
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I’m still struggling to be honest. Now Manchester has moved into tier 3 and tighter restrictions, it all seems very surreal and I feel there will never be an end to Covid. I try to be positive, but the last week or so I feel very down. It’s so hard at times. I hold a lot of my emotions in and seldom share with my husband. I don’t want to burden him. It’s incredibly hard for him too having to work from home to protect me. I have to be more positive, but when friends and family have turned their back on you, it saddens me that I have no one to off load on too. My nightly routine is now taking a bath and having a cry to myself and then pretend everything is ok.
I am due to see my consultant next week, so I might have a talk to him about how I am feeling. Thank you all for your messages of support. xx
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Hi @TM1972, it really seems that you are struggling, I feel for you, it is hard work and a heavy burden keeping that mask on, isn’t it.
You say you seldom share with your husband, although you said previously that your husband and all his family supported you through your recovery and during Covid-19 shielding at home and that your husband has been your rock and that you love him very much, so I wonder what happens when you do share with him?
I ask because my husband does not do emotions which is why I find this forum so wonderful as I can really say what it is like being me and I know I won’t be judged.
The Leukaemia Care Charity does a buddy scheme that you might like to look at on their website, I don’t know how busy they are at the moment. To be put in touch with a Buddy, you can email their Buddy Co-ordinator, Kay Drew at support@leukaemiacare.org.uk or call us on 01905 755 977 or 08088010444.
I do not know what it would be like, but it might be worth considering.
The main thing is that we are here for you and if you would like to talk to someone you can contact the wonderful Blood Cancer UK Support Services Team on 0808 2080 888 10am-7pm Monday-Friday and 10am to 1pm Saturday and Sunday or via email at support@bloodcancer.org.uk. Take lots of special care of yourself and keep posting.
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Thankyou for replying, so much has happened recently but i know your there when i feel i can talk. Xx
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Same thing happened to me. Besides, I was pregnant while suspecting I was sick and the dad left us.
My baby was born, I was alone dealing with her and my own tests, then chemotherapy etc.
Gosh, the loneliness was real hard.
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Hi @Noa, a great big welcome to our forum, if you are anything like me as you were writing your post those feelings of loneliness came flooding back, plus your other feelings of anxiety and loss at a time your lovely baby girl was born. I also had a very lonely time isolated in a foreign country when my son was born, but I did not have my diagnosis and then chemotherapy to juggle as well.
You are certainly not alone now as you have us all on the forum and if you would like to talk to someone you can contact the Support Services Team on 0808 2080 888 (10am-7pm Monday-Friday, and 10am-1pm Saturday and Sunday) or via email at support@bloodcancer.org.uk
How are you now in lockdown and tiers?
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@Noa gosh I am so sorry to read this! That must have all been so worrying and difficult for you. May I ask how you’re doing now? Do you have much support around you? Really glad you’ve joined this forum, I hope you find it helpful.
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Good morning @TM1972 and @Ruthiebabe1 and @Noa. I was just wondering how you are both doing?
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Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. Its been a difficult few weeks for me over Christmas and New Year. I’ve been feeling very low and a little depressed. I think I just let everything get on top of me what with a dip in my recent blood counts in the last couple of months, battling fatigue, family feuding, anxiety over Christmas and an overwhelming sadness. I reached out to my GP who referred me to Healthy Minds and I am now working on Silvercloud completing a module for depression. Its been tough, but I’m hoping this will help me deal with my emotions better.
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It sounds like it’s been really difficult for you in lots of ways. How are your bloods? Family feuds are exhausting. Have they settled down? How amazing that you reacher out for help. I know how hard that can be! Let us know how you get on with the module you are doing. And remember, we are here if you need us, along with the support line X
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Oh @TM1972, I am sorry you have had such a difficult few weeks.
I think those last few weeks can be so difficult, due to so many things including the short days and dark mornings and evenings.
The anxiety and memories over Christmas, the New Year, let alone the anxiety around Covid and another lockdown.
On top of that you have the concerns around the dip in your recent blood counts, battling fatigue, and as for family feuds, don’t get me started.
I think you have done brilliantly reaching out to your GP that takes courage.
Please don’t forget we are all here to support you and you can contact the wonderful Blood Cancer UK Support Services Team on 0808 2080 888 10am-7pm Monday-Friday and 10am to 1pm Saturday and Sunday or via email at support@bloodcancer.org.uk.
Please let us know how your blood count goes and your module for depression.
Take care and be kind to yourself.
Has anyone else been referred to Healthy Minds?
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@TM1972 you sound like you’ve had a really tough time and Christmas is never the easiest time of year even if you haven’t got any additional worries. I do hope things get better for you and do check in with us regularly to let us know how you are doing.
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I’m so sorry to hear this @TM1972, that sounds really tough. So glad you reached out to your GP and I’ve got everything crossed the next steps you decided together will be beneficial for you and help you back into a better place. Is you husband still being really supportive?
We’re all here to listen, and the support team are only a phone call or an email away.
(Also, I just wanted to add, that there’s never any need to apologise at all for late replies, not responding etc. There’s no pressure on here whatsoever. What’s important is that people use this forum as and when they feel it’s helpful).
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Hi Nicola,
My blood counts are improving but my lymphocytes still remain low 0.90. I’ve been told not to worry by my consultant, but you can’t help but worry. My module is going ok, but I’m only at the start of it. I have a counsellor who seems nice and my first session review is on Friday. My mother and I are now talking a few times a week but I feel so angry still and am not sure I will ever be able to forgive her for not being there for me when I needed her most. As for my daughter and grandchildren, I fear that will never be resolved. I have tried so hard in the past to bring us closer but she doesnt want anything to do with me. Its incredibly hard to accept and I miss my grandchildren very very much. One day I hope I can explain why I wasnt there for them. Thank you for your support and for asking after me. Means a lot.
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Relationships are so hard aren’t they @TM1972 and the pain, anger, hurt and anguish caused immeasurable.
Yes, please let us know how your module is going.
Also please let us know how your first session review with your counsellor goes on Friday.
Take care and stay safe.
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Families are really tough sometimes. I still have hope that you might sort things out. I hope so. As @Erica has said, keep letting us know how you are getting on in all aspects of your life. It’s good to share. Thinking off you X
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It’s two years now ive been struggling with E T , i get so fed up and nowcovid. My sons have not once asked me how i am. To top it all my lovely consultant has left, ive got a lady one now and only had phone calls, i mentioned my iron was low, she said it wasnt, then rang my local dr the day after and said it was. I feel like she told me lies.
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Hi @Ruthiebabe1. That’s sounds tough for you.Do your sons live close by? Do they know how low you are feeling? It’s so hard isn’t it, especially with your consultant leaving as well. I know I’ve built a good relationship, but it took time. I hope that your new consultant offers the same support in the future. What are you doing to keep yourself busy during lockdown? Does anything lift your spirits? Keep sharing and if you need some extra support please call the support line X
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