Hello @oleconchi. Please don’t be hard on yourself. It’s understandable to have mixed feelings when starting a new medication. You aren’t being selfish. Don’t forget everything you are coping with - the blood cancer itself plus the terrible symptoms you are experiencing. I have been taking Ruxolitinib for a few years now for Myelofibrosis. They will probably start you on a lowish dose to begin with to see how you get on. I had regular blood tests to begin with as it can make some of the blood counts drop a bit, especially the haemoglobin (Hb) in my case. I hope you enjoy spending time with your sister and have a relaxing time. Thinking of you. Thank you for sharing with us. Warm wishes. Willow X