Great news about your bone marrow being all clear, @Goody, thanks for letting us know. I agree I love my bed especially after a hot bubbly bath and a hot chocolate. My best feeling is getting into my pink and orange honey monster, cuddly feeling, onesie, I also love my music.
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Oh I do love a onesie 
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HI @Goody. I haven’t been so active on the forum for the past week, and have only just seen this. I had my treatment 2007-2009, and after my first operation and chemo regimen had finished the enormity of what I had gone through hit me and I ended up in my GP surgery. The wait for counsellors was over two months, and I hadn’t a CNS, but the GP team were excellent, seeing me every few days at the end of normal surgery (and one even said that I could ring anytime for a home visit) and I went on a low dose of citalopram, which was just as well because within two months I was suffering multiple relapses, trying to find a donor, having my own stem cells harvested, then transplanted, and I also was hit with complications. I probably stayed on the citalopram for a couple of years, which just kept me on the right side of sane, and stopped the panic attacks and lessened the anxiety.
I hope your doctors are as understanding as mine have been. How are you feeling now?
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Hi, I’m doing ok just trying to get used to how my body works now. I’m just getting run down alot easier and I’m finding it difficult. I’m not too sure what I’m doing next, I didn’t mention it to my local hematology Dr was going to speak to the specialists on Monday. I just want to get this gvhd under control 
coming down steroids has helped alot but with this recent flare up might be a while before I’m off them! X
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You say about getting run down a lot easier, is that physically, energy wise and emotionally?
It takes a long time to recover, and I would say that for some you never regain those energy levels, especially if there are other issues caused by treatment. Just recognise when you are not able to do so much, and the most important thing is not to beat yourself up about it. Steroids also make us less tolerant of our limitations. I used to use a stress ball or play with some dough if I started to become agitated xx
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Funny you should say that been making lots of play dough recently with the boys and loving it myself . Steroids are definitely causing alot of my tension right now was really starting to feel better as I was coming down off them…can’t wait to get off them for good! X
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Oh, and I could beat a toddler hands down when it came to throwing a tantrum when on steroids. I had one in a posh department store when trying to find a Mother of the Bride outfit which hid my Hickman Line, operation scar, and was for someone of 5ft. Amazing that if you are under 5 feet tall everything is low cut and shows vast expanses of leg. On top of that when I found an outfit and put my wig on,I promptly pulled it off again and threw it in a corner of the changing room. My daughter was absolutely amazing, giving me a huge hug and telling me that I was still beautiful
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Oh can just imagine you! I bet you were glad your daughter was there to bring you back down♥️ I feel sorry for my hubby, he says he understands but how much can one person take. I just try to keep my distance from everyone if I feel off but as you know with steroids it can be do sudden and unexpected the mood swings!
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I had a similar problem
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Yes, a great big welcome and I also look forward to hearing more about you.
Look after yourself
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I had a deep depression and didn’t know how to overcome it. Even during treatment it was. I didn’t know how to deal with it. I struggled with it. But on my own, I could not overcome depression and negatively affected me. I decided to take a self-confidence test and I thought what will make me happy quiz and it really helped me. In this way, when I was confident in myself, the depression disappeared. This is very important to me even now.
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Oh @YousefEdwards I felt so sad but uplifted when I read your post and I am so sorry that you had to handle your deep depression on your own, it must have been a dark time for you.
But I was so impressed that you were able to take such a big step accessing and finding the help you needed, yes, confidence really does change things and you deserve to feel so proud of yourself.
It also takes courage to post so honestly on our forum. You are never alone in our forum and I hope your post will assist others.
Be ever so kind to yourself and please keep posting
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Oh bless you
My consultant referred me to a clinal psychologist when I was struggling with anxiety and depression
I was found to have PTSD which can affect you when dealing with a life threatening diagnosis
I was seen within a couple of weeks.
I was also lucky that I attended a mindfulness class at my local hospice and the lady taking it realised I needed some help and gave me one to one sessions for coping strategies
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What a brave thing to do @YousefEdwards. I’m really intrigued with the quiz you took. It sounds as though it had such a positive impact on you 
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Gosh those classes sound good at your local hospice @2DB, I believe that hospices are really offering so many more varied services nowadays.
What a lovely lady to recognise that you needed some help and gave you one - to - one sessions. for coping strategies, did they help you?
Take lots of care @2DB
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Hi @Erica
My hospice is an amazing place for learning to live with cancer
We are very lucky
Yes the one to one sessions were very helpful
We did body scanning she would take me from my toes to the top of my head asking me to feel how my body was feeling
For example starting from your feet, how do they feel are they hot are they cold is there pain and just being accepting that it’s there then breathing into it.
It focuses the mind for the time your doing it
I learnt to track my fingers so when I feel anxious I can do it under the table so you run along your thumb up and over and continuing around all your fingers again just thinking about how they feel
It’s not a one stop wonder you have to practice so it may take a few times to quiet the mind
It’s ok for it to wander and then bring back
I also do Alexander technique yoga via zoom
I have been doing it for 5 years and still learning
Psychology counselling was the best start and complimented with the hospice mindfullness
Both the psychologist and mindfullness lady knew of each other so I was able to combine both of their knowledge
Other therapies are beneficial too for example reflexology
I still DO have anxiety attacks and moments of depression I don’t think they ever go away but being accepting that they happen for me has helped
It also helps to have the right person helping you that you trust with your life so to speak
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All I shall say is ‘Wow’ @2DB you certainly are so lucky to have had the opportunity to benefit from so many of their services.
I take my hat off to your openness, honesty and willingness to be so open minded.
Look after yourself and thanks for taking the time to reply.
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Good evening @UzziahThompson. I’m glad you are feeling better now. What blood cancer diagnosis do you have and how are you doing?
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