Hi @Wylie1
I’m so sorry you’ve had a lymphoma diagnosis, and that you are struggling with the chemo. It’s good that you’ve reached out - everyone is so helpful here.
I really sympathise on the chemo front. I had chemo for Acute Myeloid Leukaemia - so probably a different chemo - but I also experienced terrible side effects. Pretty much every listed side effect there was. I was terribly ill from it - whereas other people barely feel it. The medics all commented on how badly I was reacting - which made me feel even worse, like I was a total wimp or something. Usually, I’m a physically robust, strong (and independent) person, so it was really frightening and upsetting to find I had no control whatsoever on how my body responded to these chemicals. I was a bit angry with myself for experiencing such massive side effects.
A nurse kindly pointed out that these chemos are extremely strong chemicals that are designed to kill off parts of us - and they are often indiscriminste about which parts. So some of us are bound to react strongly to them.
I liked to think that my body reacted so adversely because the chemo was doing an amazing job of killing off the bad cells, and so my good cells were feeling it too. I took it as proof the chemo was doing its job well. I don’t know if this is true, but I found comfort in that.
As for your need to rest up for a week afterwards - it’s probably good that your body is saying it needs rest, and is forcing you to do so. Healing and repair happens during sleep. If you need to rest and sleep, you really should. I spent the better part of 4 months in hospital sleeping! And chemo can make you very tired anyway - not to mention the blood cancer.
My husband also had to do everything. He’s a mariner, and is usually at sea for 6 months of the year, but he had to take 9 months of unpaid leave to look after our son whilst I was ill. I felt terrible about that - our finances took an enormous hit, and he’s not used to so long at home doing so many domesticated things. But he did it with absolute love and dedication. He even washed and IRONED my vomit-covered pjs. (Ironing pjs is going above and beyond in my book.) I’m sure your husband is taking on what he can with the same love and dedication. That’s what good spouses do. I’m sure you would do it for him. That’s one of the silver linings of a cancer experience - husbands and wives have an opportunity to show how much they care, and it can bring partners closer. I appreciate my husband a million times more now. We’re so much closer. I hope the same happens for you both. And having extra chores to do is probably a relief for him. He can’t make you better, but at least he can do something. And it’s so much easier to cope if you are busy, rather than twiddling thumbs. How’s this for spin? You are doing him a favour by allowing him these extra tasks. 
Hang in there with the chemo, @Wylie1. It’s awful - but it’s what gives you your life back. It will soon be a memory, and you may eventually feel a tiny bit proud that you weathered such a torturous experience. You’ll be a hardcore survivor, and few things will phase you after this.
Lots of love to you and your husband. You can do this, if I managed it. XX
