I was diagnosed with Classical Hodgkin Lymphoma in March 2024, two days before my 29th birthday, and when my first baby was only five weeks old.
I was lucky enough to handle chemo well and got through it whilst being a mum for the first time. I didn’t have much time to think about my diagnosis or to have side effects so I just got on with it.
I was told I was in remission in November but have since lived with terrible anxiety that I’m going to relapse. Constantly prodding and poking feeling for any lumps and terrified if I have any aches or pains. I think about it all day, and I know it’s still very fresh but I’m struggling with the worry.
How have people overcome this? Will it get easier? I have my first blood test coming up soon and I’m so scared.
Oh @jhem welcome to our forum and I am so glad that you have found us.
Gosh, I personally reckon that you have done absolutely brilliantly with all you have had going on over the last 11 mths.
Firstly, a great big congratulations on your first baby who must be having a first birthday around now.
As you say ‘you just got on with it’ coping with a young baby and your treatment.
I reckon it is natural that now you are in remission then you can come out of coping mode and all the fear, anxiety, emotions, thoughts and feelings have space to come flooding out in all directions and it must be so hard for you
Personally I would say just give yourself time and I reckon that baby of yours will be on the move and take up more of your time and mind space.
It might take time, but if you feel you might need a bit of help perhaps see your GP, the hospital services (like Macmillan, Maggies etc) or private talking therapies.
I needed that help in another situation.
I was diagnosed 21 yrs ago and it got easier for me but I still get anxious before tests, results and appointments.
I will copy you the Blood Cancer UK link to mind and emotions Blood cancer: mind and emotions | Blood Cancer UK
Use our forum I have found that I can say how it really is for me and that helps me.
The Blood Cancer UK support line is also there for you on 0808 2080 888
Be ever so kind to yourself and really look after yourself and your little one and I look forward to hearing more about you.
Dear @jhem
Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your remission too. Going through treatment along with a new born is more than a challenge so please do recognise how strong you are. Erica has give you some wise words and a great resource on our website.
I would say that worry of relapse is normal and talking about this is a health way to cope. Do you have a Clinical Nurse Specialist you can talk through any concerns to at the hospital? I would recommend this when you have worries. I also think talking to others in a similar position is helpful, Shine Cancer Support | Cancer support charity for young people is a great resource.
Time will ease the anxiety but overcoming the first check up and blood test will be a big step.
If it is helpful you can also talk to us, the nurses here are all experienced in looking after people with blood cancer and can help you navigate the months ahead: Blood cancer information and support by phone and email | Blood Cancer UK
Best wishes
Gemma