Welcome back!

Friendship and Support

It’s International Friendship Day this Friday! :handshake: :heart_eyes: With this in mind, we thought it might be nice to have a space to share what friends have done to help and support us in the past year, or what we’ve done to support others. Or perhaps some advice for someone around how to support a friend who has been diagnosed with blood cancer.
Feel free to share below.

2 Likes

My friends were amazing when I was diagnosed in 2017 they took me an hours journey to have lines put in to bring my children to visit take me out for coffee and just being there

This year I have supported my beautiful soul sister through her myeloma journey that ended a couple of weeks ago. We started our myeloma journey at the same time. Although it was heartbreaking we shared some amazing moments in the darkness and the lighter times.
I was there at the end virtually over the telephone when I said my last goodbye through some everlasting words that only she would understand
I feel blessed to have been part of her journey.

Just be there in the darkness and the light and just listen send a little gift or words on a card to say that your friend is in your thoughts
Just knowing that someone somewhere is thinking about you is lovely.

It’s about the little things because they make the biggest difference :hugs:

4 Likes

What an apt year for International Friendship Day this Friday.
This is not over the last year, but when I was first diagnosed and put on a watch and wait regime then a friend of mine that had recently been made redundant wanted me to have her redundancy money so I could pay for treatment privately. I have never forgotten her very logical medical thinking, but I had to tell her that blood cancer was not logical in some ways and that I would be offered treatment only when it was needed and I was very happy with that.
This year a friend of mine has sent me lots of cards and little gifts like individual sachets of hot chocolate, a little cake, a hand made mask etc. (she knows me !!!)
As we have been shielding/isolating over this last year I have really tried to contact friends more often by phone, text, lots of cards and email, even though I have no news to tell them. I have even written little notes to friends not on the internet or abroad.
This last year has really made me realise that family and friends are priceless and that I really miss that social interaction and a hug.
For someone supporting a friend who has been diagnosed with blood cancer I would say ask them how I could help, perhaps suggest bringing a meal, do shopping, give them a lift to appointments and back, do their washing, change their bed, housework, gardening, give them the space to say how it is for them without trying to fix them etc. It is very much personal choice and that choice might change due to the changing circumstances.

3 Likes

I Met a really good friend on a back support group we have loads in common and fully understand what each other is going through
We dont live too close but we text each other virtually every day to make sure we’re OK we’re not just supporting the pain issues we support the family side of things too. We can’t chat for hours about what ever is bothering us or just send a message to have a rant and know we can’t offend each other. We’ve met up once but. Covid has put paid to any further meetings so far. We always send birthday and Christmas presents to each other and random messages throughout the day just so the other one knows there’s someone there thinking of them. Check up on them if they’re down, poorly or going through a rough time… To me it’s what friends do to her she’s not really had that before she gives but doesn’t receive so has been genuinely surprised when I’ve remembered things especially as my brain is mush and she knows it’s :joy::joy:

2 Likes

Wow, you are a true, very thoughtful friend @Ells

1 Like

Oh @2DB your beautiful soul sister sounds so special, it must have really hit you in so many ways when she died.
There is lots written about the mixed emotions and thoughts around such relationships and what they say is ‘survivors guilt’ amongst so many other mixed feelings and then of course the feelings of loss.
I know how I have felt when other blood cancer patients have died, I have felt all those feelings and I have not had such a very special relationship and bond as you describe.
How are you feeling now @2DB, we are all here to support you and the support line details are above.
Look after yourself and every thought and feeling you are having will be so valid.