I had a long chat with my GP who advised me to retire on medical grounds, that working with young children while on Jakavi was not advised as it suppresses the immune system. I went to work and discussed the situation and will not be returning to work. Even though I have been out of work since January, It hit me really hard when I got home. I think returning to work was something that meant life was returning to normal. I will really miss the
children and the staff.
I had my appointment with the TIA clinic and fully expected to be told all is grand no need to be seen again. This was not the case, I am now under the stroke clinic and have a specialist stroke nurse. I will be given a 7 day holter monitor in the next couple of weeks. I already have had a 24 hr monitor and all was fine. The neurologist did some tests on my eyes and found a couple of things, so he is referring me to the opthamologist in the hospital.
I am now under so many doctors itās a bit overwhelming. Itās hard to see the wood for the trees. Itās also coming up to one year since my diagnosis when I was given a prognosis of ten to fifteen years by the consultant while I understand itās only an estimate it can still play on my mind occassionally, as since my diagnosis of Polycythaemia vera (PV) and not all are related, I have broken my wrist,waiting on tests for possible parathyroid adenoma now under endrocinology, had a possible TIA now under the stroke clinic, have had pneumonia and now waiting for opthamolgy appointments. I still have breathlessness from the pneumonia and back on 12 Dec for an xray to see if it has cleared. This is all alongside my underactive thyroid and asthma. Sorry for the moan people just donāt get it . I just keep myself busy and keep the sunny side out.
Oh @Liz59, that really does sound like a hard week indeed. Iād need to offload too, please donāt apologise for expressing how youāre feeling.
Just wanted to let you know Iām thinking of you. Iām sorry thatās all going on at once for you, Iād give you a hug if appropriate. All that loss and uncertainty, I bet it would make most people feel pretty rubbish.
Maybe try to give yourself a break from thinking about it all for a day or two to see what solutions might bubble upāsometimes all we need is a rest from worries, which can often be when ideas come to us, Iāve found.
When you do feel like thinking about this again, look at different concerns one at a time as itāll feel less overwhelming. Iām sure the lovely BCUK nurses would offer great support too, perhaps especially with the medical stuff. And of course the forum is here 
Oh @Liz59 what an unbelievably hard week you have had.
No, sometimes life does just not seem fair.
In my book each of the conditions you mention probably brought along with it so many different medical issues, thoughts, emotions psychological and practical aspects.
That is a lot.
I had a similar patch last summer and I was absolutely exhausted and you have brought the memories flooding back for me
I now do not deal with what personally stresses me well.
What did slightly help me was to make sure I had a separate folder for paperwork and tests with plastic wallets inside it for each condition.
Then a wallet in the front of each folder saying the way forward i.e. what I was waiting for and when and what I had to do and when.
Then separately a list of upcoming appointments.
I also kept my own notes up to date.
I suppose for me it was trying to control what I could in what appeared an uncontrollable time and actually breaking it down from an enormous mound to more manageable chunks.
Donāt underestimate the emotional aspect of what you are going through, you loved your job, staff and children.
You donāt have to keep the sunny side out here on our forum or the support line on 0808 2080 888.
There is so much I want to post to you that I will stop there.
Be ever so kind to yourself and please do keep posting.
Iām so sorry to hear that it sounds like youāre going through a lot right now. Please know that youāre not alone. Every one here on the forum is here for you.
Itās understandable to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. I hope youāre taking care of yourself and finding ways to cope.
I can relate to feeling overwhelmed by multiple health issues. It can be hard to keep track of everything and to feel like youāre constantly dealing with something new.
Iāve also had to adjust my lifestyle and career plans due to health issues. Itās tough, but itās important to prioritise your well-being.
I know what itās like to have a long-term illness. Itās important to find a balance between taking care of yourself and trying to getting on with living life to the fullest.
Sometimes itās good to get things off your chest you are not moaning on here , this is somewhere where you can say whatever you need to say.
Stay strong 
Duncan,Erica and Jules Thank you for your kindness and support. I do need to be more organised about appointments and dates of the different diagnosis. The neurologist was asking about dates of various things and I couldnāt remember. He is the first consultant who was interested in all of my various health issues. I am going to get a notebook/diary to keep a record.
It was just all a bit overwhelming , all coming together. The grandkids were over yesterday and I had made ginger bread men and other christmas shapes to decorate . That was enjoyable. I think I have to have more patience with myself as I find it takes a lot longer to get things done. Best wishes Liz59
Hi @Liz59 I would have loved to have made gingerbread men with you.
My GP said to me many years ago that I had to take responsibility for my conditions and I have read people say on our forum that we are the experts of ourselves.
We are such complex individuals.
Yes, I felt very lonely and overwhelmed in the summer myself, it all felt too much.
The Blood Cancer UK support line is there for you on 0808 2080 888 and so are we.
Perhaps be as kind and have the patience you have with your grandchildren with yourself.
Please do keep posting
Youāre most welcome @Liz59, I hope it all feels a little less insurmountable now.
I love that youāre going to organise your notesāitās the only way I can keep on top of my own health stuff! I tend to write notes to myself after seeing a specialist so Iāve got a kind of diary of my healthcare that I can look back at.
Donāt know if you use a smartphone like an iPhone, and apologies if this sounds obvious, but they tend to have great calendars. I add my various blood test and hospital appointment dates with their doctor/nurse names and addresses into my iPhone calendar when Iām given them, and then I can always go back and check my phone as the info stays stored there.
If you have an iPhone youāll have a great app called Notes built in. Here you can keep separate notes for different specialisms. You can even search your own phone for key terms youāve saved like āDr Lovely phlebotomyā to find this information even more easily.
But I understand that having it written out on paper and stored safely in your own system is equally helpful. Most of my healthcare info is online now so Iāve been forced to use the sorts of apps mentioned above, but I do miss having physical letters and test results and so on.
Anyway, hopefully that hasnāt added more stress! Just an idea for keeping notes in one place. Helps my scattered thinking at least.
Let us know how you get on please @Liz59. Your gingerbread sounds delicious and my mouth is watering 
Erica yes you are right about taking responsibility I will try and improve. I hope things have settled for you since the summer. Be kind to yourself as you often remind us. Duncan thanks for the suggestion but I do not have an iphone. To be honest technology is not a strong point for me. More decorations were eaten than went on the gingerbread but thatās half the fun. No awards would have been won for the decorations but lots of fun and memories. Now I have to get my head around filling out the social welfare form 28 pages itās times like this that I wish I had kept records but will do my best with help from my children. I started writing my christmas cards last night how is that for organisation 
Best wishes Liz 59
Oh thatās great youāve got a plan @Liz59, and Iād say look at long forms just one page at a time. Keep up all that excellent organisationāisnāt it nice to be early doing your cards?!
If itās any comfort, Iām not at all techie and often have to ask my other half to check Iāve used the correct app in the right way 
And Iām really sorry to read of how your summer was, dear @Erica, apologies for not reaching out to support you like you support us. Hopefully youāre doing better now
Oh @Duncan yes, I am doing better now, thanks, but my lungs and heart problems started at the beginning of November last year and it brings it straight back to me as I go past the times and dates this year, itās weird.
@Liz59 it is a good idea of @Duncan to look at forms one page at a time and congratulate yourself on every little achievement.
Be very kind to yourselves
Sure you know only too well how anniversaries of difficult times can feel rather triggering, reminding us of how we felt in our bodies originally, so hopefully itāll feel less weird going forward for you @Erica 
Duncan yes one page at a time is a good plan, at the moment trying to gather all the required documentation. As regards techie stuff I ask my children. Erica sorry to hear not very nice feelings and memories are rearing their ugly heads. I just keep placing one foot on front of the other and hope I going somewhere.
Best wishes Liz59
Yes, @Liz59 slow and steady wins the race, you are doing brilliantly
Hello @Erica. Just wanted to say I am really sorry for all the additional health challenges you have experienced this past year. I identify with what you say about the various āanniversariesā as I am the same. I donāt think it is weird but quite understandable. You are always so supportive, kind and wise in what you give to us all on this forum when you are coping with so much yourself. Thank you @Erica. I hope you are looking after yourself as well as you look after us and that you have good support around you. Warmest wishes Willow 
Xx
Oh @Willow I was so touched by your post, yes, I am doing OK now and manage my symptoms.
I actually look after myself better now than I ever have in my life, better late than never!!.
I think about you often and wonder how you are doing now?
Warmest wishes to you too xxx
Erica thanks for your kindness and support. Itās good to hear you are doing ok and managing your symptoms. Do take care of yourself. I saw a christmas colin the caterpillar christmas cake advertised and you immediately came to mind. Best wishes. Liz 59
Oh @Liz59 I have seen Christmas Colin the Caterpillar and the miniature ones too.
Actually, thank you, you have just given me a good idea of a Christmas Colin instead of a yule log. xx
Erica both sound yummy enjoy xx
A Christmas Colin is a brilliant idea !