@Rammie18 many years ago I lived and worked in Nottingham, a lot of student nurses and doctors came in to the bar I was in.
This always stuck in my mind from one of the ward nurses who had been in the job a good few years when she saw them.
A doctors journey:
Student doctor, “I am a god in the making”
Newly qualified, “I am a god”
Experienced, “Does our insurance policy cover this”
About to retire, “Can’t believe I have not been found out yet”
A nurses journey:
Kick all the above in the shins to remind them they are human.
hope this helps when you are next have to face the white coat faces
Your anecdote makes me feel so fortunate to have been treated by the young cardiologist who saw me during my moment of greatest need (pre-cancer). First time I’d had a doctor younger than me, but he was great! He listened intently to my anxious needs in the midst of my heart attack when I’m sure he actually needed to rush to remove the clot and other vital stuff. He asked all the students to leave the room as it felt vile being studied while in such a vulnerable moment, and then he fitted the stent via a less intrusive part of my body as I was panicking at the thought of it all. He even came to see me before he went off shift for the weekend to reassure me of my prognosis and life ahead. Plus he was also LGBTQ+, so it felt like he’d materialised especially for me during the most terrifying event of my life! I should really find out how to contact him to thank him again, now that I read so many highfaluting doctor horror stories! They’re not all bad, perhaps sometimes deficient in empathy for how it feels to be a human in crisis.
@Duncan A guy who I once knew once told me from his experience in the army and becoming a medic, that in a way, the training is the same. To break you down and teach you to become separate from your own humanity towards others.
He said this allows you to make choices that your own moral compass would have a hard time with, such as taking a life under orders or deciding on the course of treatment that will mean life or death of a patient under the watching eyes of family members.
He felt that is the reason why so many in the forces and medical profession self medicate on drink, drugs and risk taking, to deal with the conflict between the inner person and the person they have been trained to be, walking PTSD as he called it.
Doctors have to show that self belief to reassure and make the right choices, the great ones know how to balance that bravado and the common touch, sadly too many do not, easier to imagine we are just a walking bag of flesh and bones that have ended up in the hospital version of Dave’s Garage under the railway arches, than deal with the humanity of the moment.
As he pointed out, when the car is billowing smoke, the red engine warning light is flashing, your focus is on the issue in front of you, not trying to chip the paintwork, but sharing a smile while you run through your options internally, makes handing over the bill later easier, because they remember that smile of reassurance.
Totally agree with “walking PTSD” being an issue for many folks dealing with these human horrors. I mean, for example it feels almost traumatising just seeing what’s going on in Palestine via a screen so imagine how unimaginable it must be to be there in amongst it all in reality. Trauma is a bane on all humanity and I can’t help but think that it’s becoming more common in all ages of people in all sorts of places that really should be able to do better.
I met a doctor once, via a mutual friend, who works in emergency wards with patients suffering worse case scenarios from accidents and violence and his post-work process was to get home, have a quick wash, then get so stoned that he could blot the horrors out of his mind, even for just a moment. Not particularly healthy in the long-term, but burnout and other emotional dysregulations were the likely short-term alternatives. Amazing that people still want to get into medicine considering how gruesome it can be!
