It will be so much nicer when the weather improves won’t it! Just being able to feel the sun on your face makes such a difference. It sounds as though you have a lot to keep yourself busy! I’m glad your mum enjoyed Christmas dinner too. I’ve watched Charlie and the chocolate factory twice in the last week. It really lifts my spirits every time! X
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I can’t wait for Line of Duty!
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@Willow glad you were able to sort out your delivery. I spent Christmas totally on my own a couple of years ago and it’s not so bad. It’s always a time to feel pressured into doing things you may not necessarily won’t to and being on your own you don’t have to… Most of the good TV this year was old stuff with the exception of the return of the Daleks on NYD( just once it would be nice if they won 
). I love Line of Duty too. Hopefully we can start having our favourites back on TV this year instead of everything being cancelled.
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@Hmc63 hope Christmas wasn’t too bad for you. I spent a lot of time reading. I’d been meaning to read The Thursday Murder Club for a while and did that last week. I also had a nice bottle of port to keep me company. Hope the coming year brings you everything you want.
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Hello @Franko. Thank you for your good wishes. I spent Christmas Day on my own and actually I found it wonderful! Sounds selfish but it was the first year for ages that I didn’t feel under pressure or anxious about people coming or having to travel anywhere. I realise that for many people it was very disappointing but I really appreciated having a quiet and relaxing day. Warm wishes. Willow
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Hi there. I think it has been a very depressing time for many of us, irrespective of Covid. I know I have got really low - I go to bed and wonder if tomorrow my Myeloma will be active, I lay awake thinking of remaking my will, of where I would like to die (home or hospice), plan my own funeral (which I have also done verbally with my son). My husband cannot cope at all emotionally so I can only talk to my son who lives miles away. I was diagnosed in 2016, told average life expectancy was 7-8 years, had chemo and then stem cell transplant in 2017. I am grateful that I am still doing well but think the depression is because I have found it hard to accept the diagnosis and guilty because my sister had pancreatic cancer - was told she had 6-12 months but died within 5 weeks of diagnosis. Sorry to make this my first entry but would find it helpful to see how others cope.
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Hi @manteia, a great big welcome to our forum, I am so glad you have found us, I find this forum so informative and supportive.
I can only share my story. I was diagnosed with CLL in 2003 and at that time the life expectancy on the internet with CLL was 5-10 years.
I immediately came home and wrote my will, my funeral arrangements and all the music.
My husband cannot take my emotions and sticks his head in the sand saying ‘La, la la’ and my son is not much better. I find this forum is the one place that I can really say what it is like to be me. You can contact also contact the Support Services Team on 0808 2080 888 (10am-7pm Monday-Friday, and 10am-1pm Saturday and Sunday) or via email at support@bloodcancer.org.uk.
My diagnosis has given me the opportunity to reflect on what I want out of life and who I want to spend my time with.
You seem to have a good insight into yourself and can see how your sister’ very sad story is also playing on your mind.
Yes, Covid is not helping and my emotions have been all over the place.
Take care and be kind to yourself and please keep posting we are here to support you.
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Hi @manteia welcome to this forum - please don’t apologise for this being your first post - I’m so glad you found you could share this on here. It’s so understandable that you’re feeling like this - I can only imagine how incredibly tough this must all be for you and how devastating it must have been to lose your sister and in such a short space of time. I think many people will be able to relate to the feelings you share and I hope people will share how they cope. It’s really good to hear that you have support from your son.
I wonder if any of the information on our living well pages might be of any help for you? Living well with blood cancer | Blood Cancer UK There’s some information around mind and emotions and how to get support.
I really hope you find this forum helps you feel less alone. Please remember that if you ever want to talk things through with us on the support line, we are only a phone call away on 0808 2080 888.
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