Just wondered how everyone else was feeling now we are in a new year …
Had my ups and downs but pleased yo still be here …my biggest concern is my anxiety at going out.
Just can’t seem to move forward… even going to the Drs for a blood test was hard .
Just wanted to get back.home and shut the door like keeping the world away .
I know I can’t go on like this
I just need to get out but it’s so hard
My friend who gas been to see me every day since March 12th…still.visits and we have a good giggle and a laugh . Her family have been life savers this last year .
It’s just with covid and omicron I just can’t and wont risk anything.but it’s stifling and I.need to change things
3 Likes
Thank you so much for sharing how you’re feeling @Hmc63 - you’re certainly not alone in these anxieties. It’s really good to hear your friend still visits you, that sounds like a brilliant source of support and it sounds like you have a really lovely friendship 
If you want to talk anything through with us on the support line, please do give us a shout, we are here for you.
3 Likes
Hi @Hmc63 thank you so much for your post, you have voiced what I have been thinking so eloquently and actually my aim for 2022.
I have found I am slowly getting better and it is just baby steps.
I was sort of forced to get out slightly more because since October I have had a wound that needed dressing daily at first, then every other day and now twice weekly and I also had prescriptions for specialist dressings to pick up from the pharmacy before appointments.
On my daily walks I am trying not to wear my mask ,but just socially distancing form people. If I speak to someone then I wear my mask.
The more I make myself get out there the less anxious I get and the less scary it seems.
I wonder if your friend might assist you with your baby steps by supporting you in going for a walk, whilst having your giggle and laugh.
A good friend and a giggle and laugh are the best medicine and priceless.
Alternatively, if you think it might help, you might wish to talk to your GP about some counselling. Macmillan Cancer Support also offer limited sessions of counselling I believe.
It’s not going to be easy for you but this forum and the Blood Cancer UK support line are there for you.
Please let us know how you are getting on
1 Like
Thank you …I know it’s going to take time…I spoke to my Haemotology Dr today as my blood test showed my platelets had gone up.slighly fro 380 to 475…my hydroxicarbamide has been reduced to allow my haemoglobin levels to rise …at last they have and are nearly normal.
They’ve increased my dose of angralide from.4 to.6 a day …gradually increasing it and kept my HU.low.as they still want to give my levels to.go.up. I asked about my covid jab as my anxiety at getting the jab since my anyeurism rupture last year has made me I’ll… some times…they said to Definately go f9r moderna or Pfizer…and avoid The others. So.im.hopefully going to.get that jab appt booked in 2 weeks .
I even sent out today to.the vets …
So.im.making progress…I. think.
Thank you and stay safe
1 Like
Well done to you @Hmc63 and @Erica for the “baby steps” but I think we should be careful of labelling as mental health issues what a perfectly valid evidence based concerns. If you have not yet had the full vaccine regime as I have not or if it has not worked well for you it is rational and reasonable to to take precautions to avoid catching covid and no one can be blamed for taking proportionate measures to avoid an infection which seems frequently to lead to at least hospitalisation in blood cancer patients. According to a recent article in the guardian blood cancer patients account for 1 in 23 of all Covid deaths between September and December even if this is an inaccurate to a factor of 10 it is still a factor to be considered. I am aware that the current attitude is not to worry too much about the 398 people who died of or with Covid yesterday as most of them were unvaccinated but most of them is not all of them even if it is 80-90% the remaining 10-20% are people like us presumably so we can be justifiably careful wihtout being paranoid. Mind you I regret the death of the unvaccinated too with are so casually dismissed by commentators being stupid still does not deserve the death penalty. So I would say get what you can out of life while being careful and never ever blame yourself for being fed up this has gone on for us for far too long and I hope for better times soon.
1 Like
I think most years I start off January making big plans for the year and motivate myself accordingly. However after the last 4 years I’ve learned to be more cautious in case everything goes down the plughole again. I have got some tentative plans for the the next 3 or 4 months and am approaching the other things on my to do list for the year gradually rather than rushing to do them as I have in the past. It could feasibly be an ok year but I don’t trust fate any longer and my approach is somewhat more downbeat than in previous years.
1 Like
I.am alot better this week…I’ve been out twice …again taking mum to dental appts and to the opticians for an eye test …I actually felt better getting out …my friend came with me just to Make sure I was ok …as mum.had a wobble the day before and was shaking but she was fine with the optician .seeing people wasn’t too bad …it was just when they sat nearby I felt a bit strange but I realised it’s not them that are the issue …it’s my mind set …but I did it now to keep.the momentum going is the key thing …thank you
3 Likes
Wow @Hmc63 I am so, so impressed with you.
I agree with you that the more I step my toe out there into the world the better it gets and the more comfortable I feel.
Yes, it is my mindset and it is up to me to be sensible and keep myself safe, the world is going to open up and we are going to have to live with Covid as we do with seasonal flu.
I love your positive mindset.
Look after yourself
1 Like
It’s so strange being around people again isn’t it. I’ve found that it’s often not as bad as I thought it would be. A big step today and it’s nice to hear you felt better for getting out and about. Have you got another outing planned?
1 Like
Yes I have …garden centre to buy some plants…next week I’ve got a dental appt …pooch parlour for the dog and got to take my car for an.mot. not crowded shopping centres I know I won’t do them…but these are relatively safe appts
1 Like
Sounds like you have lots planned and it’s good that it things you feel comfortable with. I’m the same as you, not to keen on supermarkets and leisure centres but I am venturing out more. Restaurants seem pretty well spaced out at the moment so I’m making the most of that! Make sure you grab yourself a treat on each outing. I think we all deserve it!
2 Likes
Hi everyone, my husband and I ventured out to our local high street today for the first time since before the Christmas period. I’ve also found the it’s the anxiety of going out into busier places is something I’ve struggled with throughout the pandemic. As I read through this chat this morning, I felt supported to hear that other people are feeling the same way as me and encouraged to read about your experiences of getting out again. We went into our local Costa coffee shop and must admit it felt very busy. I had a bit of a wobble in the queue as I do get irritated by people who don’t wear masks. However I got through it by reminding myself that by wearing my n95 mask and being triple vaccinated that I’m doing everything I can to protect myself and my husband. I also realise that as time goes on fewer people will be wearing masks but that we can still continue to do what feels right for us to protect ourselves and our loved ones. On a positive note I enjoyed the coffee and slice of lemon drizzle and we had a window seat spaced well apart from other people. @Nichola75 l love your sentiment that it’s important to grab a treat every time you’re out. I noticed some new cafes and restaurants have opened up so will look to trying them out in the future. I also felt heartened by the positive side of human nature when we got on the bus to come home. A young woman sat without a mask on immediately put hers on when she saw my husband and I get on to the bus.
1 Like
I’m not sure my husband would agree. I’m spending a fortune on coffee 
Definitely try out those cafes and restaurants. I look forward to hearing about your treat!
1 Like
Hi @Hmc63 and @Kirsteen it sounds as if you are both doing brilliantly and just going places where you feel it sensible and safe.
I think it is so true @Hmc63 that the more you venture out the safer it feels as long as you are sensible.
Look after yourselves
1 Like
You take care too @Erica,it is good that we are all here to support and encourage each other
2 Likes
I took the plunge and sought help from.my Dr with my anxiety about going out
They were understanding and helpful.and responded to.my e consult in a few hours
Theyve agreed to me having counselling and to talk to a.health worker
I prescribed some medication to use only when going out to see if that helps
Keeping my fingers crossed
2 Likes
Thats such a brave thing to do. I did it last year. However, it took me a while to be able to make the call. It’s really helped me and I hope it does you as well. Do you feel better now you have asked for a bit of help? Please keep us updated
2 Likes
I made a self referral for counselling through the NHS last year. I was given 4 sessions on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy as part of a group (CBT) in October. I found it very useful as they explained about the techniques used in CBT and how you could apply them to your own situation. I have found some of the techniques helpful to use as I start going out more. I’m also on a waiting list for one to one CBT and hoping this comes up soon as I think it would be particularly beneficial to me now. @Hmc63 I hope they are able arrange some counselling for you and that you find it useful.
2 Likes
Thank you …yes I feel.a bit better knowing I’ve asked for help …just the waiting for an appt …is the thing …least I’ve made a move
2 Likes