My 90 year old mother has recently been diagnosed with multiple myeloma, and is commencing treatment today in tablet form.
I have two sisters, and between us we are helping her as much as we can.
The main question we have is are we doing the right thing putting her through the treatment?
Prior to diagnosis she had lost weight, would get very tired and had back pain, but other than that was relatively well for her age. We are worried that we are now going to make her unwell with the chemo and the possible side effects and she will question if it is the right thing to do.
I suppose I would just like to hear that it will be worth it so that we can encourage her and stay positive.
Many thanks, and I hope you all all coping ok.
I’m sorry to read about your mum it’s a stressful time isn’t it.
I’m living with Myeloma I’m 55
Personally I haven’t come across a 90 year being diagnosed. I’m sure there must be others.
Do you know what chemo she is having?
Is it lenlidamide?
Your questions are difficult to answer as we don’t have all mums medical history and we don’t know her and it’s not our choice to make but for the three of you to ask questions of mums consultant what the side effects are as myeloma is individual to the person.
Here are some questions I can think of.
How well she would tolerate treatment
How fragile is she.
Quality of life is another.
Is there alternatives to chemo and what are they?
You can’t tell if chemo is the right thing until mum starts and she can also stop treatment if that’s what she wants to do if side effects are too much.
Some people tolerate chemo well others don’t.
Wishing you and your mum and sister well
Hi @Jowhitehouse I am so glad that you have found us you must both be in shock.
I attach the Blood Cancer UK link to multiple myeloma
Myeloma | Blood Cancer UK
It must be so difficult, but perhaps it is listening to your mum and what she wants and what her medical team advise.
Also just be there for your mum.
Perhaps it might help for your mum, and perhaps you, to write down all her fears, pros and cons, questions and practicalities.
Your mums medical team are the best ones to answer her questions.
The Blood Cancer UK support line is there for you on 0808 2080 888 and so are we.
Be very kind to yourselves and look after yourself and please do keep posting.
A big Welcome to the Forum, Thank you for posting.
I am so sorry to read that your Mother has been diagnosed with Myeloma.
You and your sisters are doing a lovely thing by being there and supporting her.
It is very hard to comment on whether her having treatment is the right thing to do, as only you can decide that between you all, as you know your Mother best.
What are her wishes?
If she didn’t begin treatment, she would continue to have back pain and loose weight.
I must say that a Consultant would not offer her treatment, if they didn’t think it would improve things for her or make a difference to her Myeloma.
Hopefully any side effects will be minimal, but please do keep the Haematology team informed about how she is coping with the medication - and just remember that she can stop at any time.
As @2DB and @Erica have both suggested please do call the support line if you wish to talk things through: 0808 2080 888
Do look after yourselves, Take care, Heidi.
I’m really glad you have posted and I hope joining the forum as helped.
As everybody else has asked, what has your mum said about treatment. Is she able to tell you her wishes?
It must be really hard as a family - if you have to - to decide on next steps.
Are you getting any advice/support from your mums medical team? X