Hi everyone, I’m not even sure what I’m really asking here but my 76 year old Dad has just come out of hospital after 4 weeks and the diagnosis is a likely blood cancer. Since he’s come out he needs 24 hour care/watching and we are just feeling overwhelmed as it’s my Mum and I looking after him. He’s very confused now and has a terrible memory and awareness and poor mobility. We are waiting follow on actions form the hospital but I must admit I’m in a bit of a mess about it all. Any help/advice would be so much appreciated.
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Hi @Averyworriedson and welcome to the forum. What a worrying time for you all and as hard as it is being the patient I think it’s just has hard for those around us. It’s so early on in the diagnosis and I can imagine the thoughts, fears and questions running around in your head. Have you thought about calling the support line? You can call free on 0808 2080 888 Phone lines are staffed from 10am – 7pm on Monday to Friday and from 10am – 1pm on Saturday and Sunday. Obviously please keep sharing on here as we can all support each other. However they may be really useful, especially at this point in your dads and your families journey. My advice would just me to take one day at a time. Write down all off your questions for the next appointment and allow yourself to acknowledge your emotions and let people help. I really am sending lots of love and really do understand how difficult it must be x
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Thank you so much for your reply and kind words, I will follow your advice.
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Hi @Averyworriedson, a great big welcome to our community forum and if you read posts on here you will often read that we all find the not knowing and having to wait on others is the worst time. However as @Nichola75 says we and the support line are here for you.
Also it does give you and your parents time to write down a list of questions to ask, these can include your fears, thoughts, questions, symptoms to be explained, prognosis and practicalities. I have learnt to make sure I get understandable answers to these questions and make notes of answers as my mind goes blank often when I am worried.
I also found it hard but very necessary to accept help.
Take lots of special care of yourselves and have the odd treats.
Please let us know how you are and what is going on for you.
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Hi @Averyworriedson. Welcome to the forum. You’ve come to the right place as a lot of the people on here have experience of blood cancer either as a patient or a career. Your worry is fully understandable but I think you got good advice to take things a day at a time. I remember the early days of my diagnosis and the frustration I felt just wanting to get on with things. It sounds like you are a close knit family and that you will be a great support to your dad which is the best thing you can do. Check in with us whenever you need a chat.
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@Averyworriedson I’m so sorry you and your family are going through such a worrying time! It’s totally understandable that you’re in a bit of a mess about it all, I can only imagine how much it must all be to process especially as you don’t have a confirmed diagnosis or information around next steps yet. Do you know when the hospital are likely to have more information for you?
If it’s helpful at all at this point or at any point in the future, we have some information on our website. Just diagnosed with a blood cancer
Someone I know has blood cancer
We also have different booklets of information on different types of blood cancers.
Please do give us a call on our support line if you want to talk anything through, or if there’s anything we can do to support you, your mum or your dad at any point. We’re only a phone call or an email away.
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Been reading through comments- hoping you are doing ok. Been there with dad and it’s awful. Sending hugs.
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Hi averyworriedson,
firstly well done for posting on this forum. A good move! I can’t offer too much advice but wanted to offer you my support and respect for your courage. I was diagnosis with a sudden and very nasty blood cancer 3 years ago. The treatment wasn’t very pleasant but I was so pleased to have the support of my son (and daughter and wife). I felt so sorry for them am thought that they had a much more difficult role than me! After all, all I had to do was lie in bed and complain! They had to put on a brave face, listen, travel to and fro and always be there to listen to my whining! All I can say to you is that your father won’t want you to do anything spectacular, brave or clever. He will just want to know that you are there for him. Be yourself, be cheerful, and stay strong. He will be very proud of you. Keep up the good work!
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Thanks @Quentin, and what an honest view of your treatment and your family’s role. Although obviously we are the ones with the blood cancer and going through the often gruelling treatment and side effects, I also think our loved ones have such a thankless role, although I think you were also aware and appreciative.
Take care and keep posting.