Like you Erica, I was brought up to ‘say nowt’ just get on with it. My mother had an abusive life before she met my dad, her father took advantage of her vulnerability and if she was down, he would use it to his power. I feel so strongly about being able to talk and be listened to without interruption. I trained as a youth counseller and feel that whatever was worrying people, then I was a listening ear which would never go further. I also worked with young offenders through a team which aimed to stop offending early. Often bad behaviour was actually a cry for help. This forum and other similar ones are life savers for many people.
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Hi @jay I have been thinking about you and just wondered how you are doing now?
How are your lovely boys too?
Be kind to yourself
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Hi Erica, I’ve been on my rollercoaster ride 
more days on than off, I had a lovely surprise for my birthday:birthday:, the home brought my 2 son’s up for the day , brought me birthday goodies:gift:
also and a cake with candles…
lucky they didn’t put the lot on , I’d need a fire engine to put them all out 
, The way my diagnosis happened I keep going back to it , it’s still very much like a really bad nightmare that I can’t get away from… I’m trying really hard to move forward and stop going backwards , but the fact I can’t get the way it all happened really scares me…
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Oh @Jay what an absolutely brilliant birthday surprise you had to spend it with both your boys and the icing on the cake, a birthday cake.
You cannot have imagined it when you were first posting on here.
Yes, I can remember my diagnosis, so vividly and that was 19yrs ago, please don’t beat yourself up, I think your feelings are so natural it rocked your world.
I think that you are actually moving forward, although you also look backwards.
Don’t forget you have your forum family around you and the Blood Cancer UK support line is also there for you on 0808 2080 888.
I also found I needed support to come to terms with my diagnosis, counselling helped me. Your GP might be able to assist with some local options.
Be ever so kind to yourself.
What a lovely surprise for you!
Erica is spot on - it rocked your world and something that does that is hard to forget/move on from.
We are all here for you X
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