I was diagnosed with ALL when I was 3 years old and my treatment ended once I was 7, after treatment I lost all the support I had during cancer assuming everything is normal, even myself however it took me years to realize that I am struggling with basic things in life, I used to wet my pants during nights due to incompetence of central neuro system for undergoing chemotherapy, I had dysuria for many years and still I dealing with it, skin issues, continuous fear of cancer return. My cancer treatment cost my family alot and made us poorer than ever, nobody directly talk about it but the burden of my poor family financial state weights on my shoulders, my dad is addicted and most of the time wasn’t home at all, he himself was a victim of divorce, my mom raised by her mom with her dad passing away at young age, now I am 24 year old, working as a nurse in a hospital specialized for cancer patients, and whenever I saw a kid my age with cancer, it brings all the pain back and I burst into tears with my heart beat racing up. I work overtime about 350 hours per months, sleep quality is poor, and alot to say but never talked about it cause I turned into an out cast in my family. I hate to say it, I won cancer battle but I am losing the post treatment ere
Hi @Mehrdad and welcome to the forum.
It sounds like things are really tough at the moment for you and there are some triggers that are making you think a lot about what happened to you.
I would suggest making an appointment with your GP. Have you considered counselling? Is this something you think could help?
Nichola
Hello @Mehrdad
Thank you for your post.
We are so sorry to hear about your previous diagnosis of ALL and going through several years of treatment.
We can imagine this was a difficult time for you and your family and sorry to hear that you had some late effects as well as understandably feeling the way you have described.
It’s important to be kind to yourself and acknowledge what you have been through. Taking the time to process your emotions and show compassion to yourself can help. What you’re feeling is likely a normal reaction to adjusting to a different phase of your life. There is no right or wrong way to feel, it is your own personal experience. Things may feel difficult and it may be helpful to If focus on the ways blood cancer has made you stronger as a person, and remembering that you are more than the difficult things that have happened to you and you are not defined by your previous diagnosis.
As @Nichola75 has kindly mentioned it may be a good idea to speak with your GP for counselling or see if there are any local support groups nearby that can help. If you like we can have a look for these for you. You can email us at support@bloodcancer.org.uk with where you are based and can have a search. You can also call us on 0808 2080 888.
In case it is useful we also have a page on After blood cancer treatment ends | Blood Cancer UK which talks about processing what you’ve been through, information on coping when treatment ends and what to do if things don’t get easier.
Do take care & warm wishes,
Emma (support services nurse)
Hi @Mehrdad,
Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal with us, I think it takes real courage to put those sorts of feelings into words in a forum like this. It sounds like you’ve been holding all of this - the physical effects, the emotional weight, family responsibilities, the financial strain, the triggers at work - largely on your own. That’s an enormous amount for anyone to carry.
I just wanted to echo what @Nichola75 and @Emma_BloodCancerUK have said, as they’ve given you some really thoughtful responses and excellent suggestions. I hope you’re being gentle with yourself. You deserved support after treatment ended, and it’s not too late to seek that support now.
How are you doing today? We’re here if you need to talk things through. As mentioned, you can call our support line on 0808 2080 888 or email support@bloodcancer.org.uk if ever you need to.
Take care of yourself,
Ceri - Blood Cancer UK Support Services