Anxiety after Remission

Living with and after blood cancer
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I was diagnosed with Hairy Cell Leukaemia (Hairy cell leukaemia (HCL)) in April 2024 and went into remission in October 2024.

During my treatment I was very strong and focused on doing everything I could to beat this illness and thankfully we achieved that goal with 0% Hairy cell leukaemia (HCL). The support I received from my wife and the doctors was incredible. Whilst physically I feel very good and I am slowly getting back to doing the things I love (golf, cycling and running), I am struggling mentally. I feel like I have been given another opportunity and as such I am wrapping myself in cotton wool through fear that I could do something that will impact my immune system and ultimately jeopardise the length of my remission period, because as you may know, Hairy cell leukaemia (HCL) is a chronic form of leukaemia and is guaranteed to return at some stage in my life.

I now live my life day-to-day. I try to be mindful whenever I can to keep any stress levels to a minimum but this self-protectiveness that I have imposed upon myself is making me feel quite anxious. Whilst both my wife and my work have been incredibly supportive, I decided to reach out to Blood Cancer UK and the kind lady who contacted me pointed me towards this forum.

I would welcome any thoughts and guidance from anyone who has been on a similar journey to mine.

Many thanks for your time.

Best regards

Neil

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Hi @Neil-B I am so glad that you have joined our forum and had the courage to post so honestly.
I can really relate to what you are saying and I think you describe it so well and you are far more insightful than I was.
I also slip into practical mode with ease when everything is going on then when things calm down it gives all my thoughts and emotions the space to go in all directions.
I would say give yourself time, you are doing all the right things and if you are like me live will get back to a new normal.
I found that my diagnosis gave me the opportunity to decide what I wanted out of life and with whom.
Family, friends and fresh air are priceless.
I am a walker and a Pilates girl.
Perhaps remember your wife has gone through this with you and keep talking about how you are feeling and give her the space to do the same.
Now is your chance to do things that you both enjoy.
I found talking therapy helped me and mindfulness.
We are here for you to share whatever you need to and as you have found the support services are wonderful on 0808 2080 888
I hope others will be able to share their experiences
Be really kind and look after yourselves and please do keep posting