Experiences of coping

My OH was diagnosed with AML in January. He had two cycles of Venetoclax + Azacytadine that didn’t work so he’s now having more aggressive chemo (Daunarubicin + Cytarabine 3+10). He was doing ok but is now feeling very unwell (in hospital currently). I’m home and in a constant state of worry. Consultant said to expect this and while you think you’re prepared, actually knowing he’s poorly and so vulnerable is such a worry. Anyone been through this who can share experiences?

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Hi @CathyG a warm welcome to our forum, I am so glad that you have found us, you are certainly not alone now you have your forum family to support you.
If you would like to talk to someone you can contact the Support Services Team on 0808 2080 888 (Mondays: 10am-7pm, Tuesdays-Fridays: 10am-4pm, Saturday, Sundays and Bank Holidays: 10am-1pm) or via email at support@bloodcancer.org.uk.
The feelings of anxiety and worry you have are so normal,
When your OH was at home and with you you could watch him, help and care for him and know what was going on and, OK, you probably had those feelings then too, but when he is in hospital and you are at home you are left with a void and those feelings and helplessness are likely to really take over in that void.
You have both gone through so much since January (plus being in Covid times) I expect it has really taken a toll on you shock wise, emotionally, physically and practically. I find I cope and cope and cope then all the feelings and exhaustion set in.
My mind also goes to practicalities and also the ‘what if’s’ etc.
It is an opportunity to catch up on tasks that you put on hold since January.
Be kind to yourself, have a rest and perhaps a soak in a bubbly bath and try to accept your feelings.
Are you in contact with your husband at all?
I am interested in hearing more about you.

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Hi @CathyG and welcome to the forum. I think it’s so hard being the one watch your loved one go through treatment, I know my husband found it extremely difficult. I think @Erica gave great advice, especially about being kind to yourself. This is something we so easily forget but is the thing that’s the most important - both as the carer and the patient. This information booklet is really useful, along with the support line; Supporting someone with blood cancer: your feelings | Blood Cancer UK
Please keep sharing. We are all here to support you. Sending special wishes to you and your other half X

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Thank you Erica, your comments perfectly sum up about the coping, coping and coping and then crumbling. That’s what’s happened to me this week. It didn’t help that I had a minor health problem of my own (nothing serious but had to have 2 small uncomfortable procedures ), and that’s when it hit me. Flood gates well and truly open. I do try to look after myself and did the bubbly bath thing last night :relaxed:
I find I worry constantly, too much and too irrationally.
I am in contact with OH, we Skype two or 3 times a day and can message in between so I’m usually better when I’ve seen him and know he’s ok.
Thank you for your reply. It always helps to hear from others in similar circs. Xx

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Thanks Nicola, I’ve had a look at the info on the website and the common sense side of me is very good at that, but this week the emotions took over and all rationality went out the window. I think just offloading and putting the words down did help, so thank you for you’re reply. I’ll keep on keeping on. Xx

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Yep - loosing that common sense side of things is something that resonates with me to. Just have to let it all out sometimes don’t we and then breathe. Bottling it all up doesn’t help. You take care and hope you feel a little better today X

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Hi @CathyG ad @Nichola75, I really agree sometimes it just all comes spilling out and I did not realise how much I had been bottling it up.
I have never cried so much as since diagnosis, I am far more emotional now.
But wow don’t I feel better for it.

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