Its been a funny old day…
After a year of treatment including a Stem cell transplant to then catch the flue at xmas and end up in hospital for 10 days really knocked me back.
I was meant to go back to work on the 5th of Jan which didn’t happen after a year off.
So the last two weeks ive felt myself sinking,not wanting to get out of bed,thinking whats the point of all of this.Waiting for the next setback.
How ever this afternoon i saw my therapist who said this is perfectly normal after every thing ive been through. She even gave me some positives from it and im feeling alot better for it.
So i guess what im trying to say is if you need to use the professional’s dont be afraid to.
Best wishes to everyone…John
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Oh @JE1963 Yes, just think what you and your body have been through emotionally, physically, medically and practically over the last year and then the final straw was catching the flu at xmas. The final straw perhaps.
Just the flu wipes out the healthiest of people.
As for your thoughts and feelings they seem very natural to me.
I also found seeing a therapist helped me, that person who I could say how it really was for me, a different perspective.
Thanks for your very honest post I am sure it will help others.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to replenish your batteries and keep posting
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Hi @JE1963, thank you so much for taking the time to share your experiences here. It sounds like you’ve been going through a tough a time and I do hope you’re doing okay. I’ve sent you a direct message, too. Do take care of yourself.
Best wishes,
Tanya.
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Hi @JE1963
I’m in a similar position, 10 months post Stem cell transplant and feeling well but mentally finding it hard. I’ve had two online appointments with a psychologist who seems to understand and has given me lots of tips. My problem is wanting to get back to the old me, no health worries or appointments etc but struggling to accept the truth.
I took early retirement about 4 months before my diagnosis of Acute Myeloid Leukaemia so I don’t have to worry about work, hope you can get back soon as I’m sure that will give you something else to think about!
Hope you keep well x
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Thanks Sue, yeah thats definitely a big problem. The old me,fit as a fiddle and now being told dont lift anything heavy because your bones may break and if you catch anything it could put you in hospital…Its definitely a two way battle.
On a positive note we’ve both got through the Stem cell transplant so best foot forward and lets look forward to the spring 
All the best John
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Hi
I was so pleased to read your comments and the positive vibe coming from it.
My husband is presently deciding as to whether he should have a stem cell transplant after being told about all the possible complications. He needs one to survive Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. Have there been times when you have regretted the procedure and was it an easy decision to make. I am trying to support him and hope that his decision is to have the transplant.
I do hope all continues to go well for you. X
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Hi Andy,i dont for one minute regret having it.I think the consultant’s have to tell you about all the possible complications just in case.Im an overthinker so you can imagine i convinced myself i was going to get all of them but in the end it wasn’t to bad just uncomfortable for about 3 days.
He’ll be fine.
Best wishes John
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Hi @Andy1 a great big welcome to our forum.
I can tell that you are concerned about your husbands decision, it is so difficult for him when deciding on the unknown.
It also depends on the type of stem cell transplant.
Sometimes people find a pros and cons list helps.
Yes, medical people have to give all the possible complications to cover themselves and be realistic.
Everyone’s experiences are different and you can read many on here.
There is also information on the Blood Cancer UK website including Blood cancer treatment types | Blood Cancer UK, here is the link.
The main thing is it has to be the decision your husband feels right for him.
Being a partner I think is so, so hard you are so helpless and the decision effects both of you…
We are here for both of you and if you would like to talk to someone the Blood Cancer UK support line is there for you on 0808 2080 888.
Please look after yourselves and be very kind to yourselves
Hi @Andy1
I had a stem cell transplant for Acute Myeloid Leukaemia last April. I never considered not doing it and have not regretted it. It isn’t an easy ride but I have felt well for several months now, in fact my frustration is I still have hospital appointments every 3 weeks and I just want to get on with my life! I was 54 and just retired when I was diagnosed so I wanted the best possible chance to enjoy my retirement! Good luck whatever the decision x
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I had a STC in Oct 21 and went back to work remotely (at first), full-time from in January. I should have had longer off! I’ve had Covid twice since but was able to access anti-virals and was fine. I got that nasty cough just after Christmas which totally flattened me. I got antibiotics which fortunately got rid of it. I know some very healthy young people who’ve been really ill with it, so don’t feel defeated. Followed by a giant ugly eye sty, so felt utterly miserable and concerned about my immune response. You will get back closer to normal eventually. I still get tired sometimes but had a clear blood test last week showing I’m still in remission. It’s normal to feel rubbish with some nasty flu and worse after going through such a tough time - physically and emotionally. Hope you’re feeling better soon and enjoy your return to work. Paul
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[quote=“Erica, post:8, topic:7099, full:true”]
Hi @Andy1 a great big welcome to our forum.
I can tell that you are concerned about your husbands decision, it is so difficult for him when deciding on the unknown.
It also depends on the type of stem cell transplant.
Sometimes people find a pros and cons list helps.
Yes, medical people have to give all the possible complications to cover themselves and be realistic.
Everyone’s experiences are different and you can read many on here.
There is also information on the Blood Cancer UK website including Blood cancer treatment types | Blood Cancer UK, here is the link.
The main thing is it has to be the decision your husband feels right for him.
Being a partner I think is so, so hard you are so helpless and the decision effects both of you…
We are here for both of you and if you would like to talk to someone the Blood Cancer UK support line is there for you on 0808 2080 888.
Please look after yourselves and be very kind to yourselves
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Thank you all for your amazing positive comments. The problem now is after receiving letter saying that if he doesn’t have the transplant there is a - 20% or less chance of curing his leukaemia, 40/50% chance of curing it with a transplant. 15-20% chance of dying from side effects of transplant. 40% chance of permanent illness from graft versus host disease and 1 in 6 chance of graft versus host disease being life threatening.
When you get that kind of letter what do you do with the info? No wonder he is confused and I am finding it hard to digest this to support his decision.
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Hi Andy
I remember reading that information and it is shocking when you have to apply it to yourself (as in my case) or a loved one. I dealt with it by focusing on the 20 % chance of a cure…why shouldn’t I be in that 20%? I found strength in trying to always think about that 20% when I had those ‘down days’….I won’t pretend it wasn’t hard at times and I found the whole uncertainty of being able to plan ahead difficult as this was the one time in my life I hadn’t been able to come up with a plan and take control of my life as I always had when I had faced other life challenges. I only planned a day or two at a time at first and set myself little goals, also treated myself when I reached those goals. My advice would be to let him talk to you and just listen…talking with someone you know and trust is invaluable…
I’m just over 2 years post transplant now and doing ok…looking a starting back in my role of mental health nurse (although on bank at first to test my stamina ) as I so want to give back and support others with managing their health worries etc let your husband know you are there no matter what, to listen, talk, or just ‘be’ , sometimes I didn’t always want to talk with my husband but found it enough he was just around me. Having people to support you is vital also….there are some lovely people on this forum…I send you a big hug 
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Hi @Andy1, thank you for your posts. May I ask how you’re doing? It’s really so understandable to be feeling confused at this stage. There’s a lot to think about and consider and it’s not easy making decisions like this. Would you find it helpful to speak with a member of our Support Team, perhaps one of our Support Services Nurses? Please don’t hesitate to call us on 0808 2080 888 if so, or you can email us on support@bloodcancer.org.uk and we could book you in. In case it’s helpful for you or indeed your husband to talk things through- we’d be more than happy to support you both.
You may have seen this already, but we also have a booklet on the topic of stem cell transplants, just in case that’s helful for you - Blood stem cell and bone marrow transplants booklet | Blood Cancer UK Shop.
Take care and please don’t hesitate to reach out if we can support you at all.
Best wishes,
Tanya.
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Oh John i feel for you as went through a similar thing 18months ago and didnt think I would ever get back to feeling myself again - I’m glad you’ve had some much needed positive support - it took several months after i started to feel better again to get back to what is ‘normal’ for me - I do listen to my body more now though and if i start to feel unwell I no longer push through it - ive taken up indoor hobbies like sewing and card making etc which helps on days i just dont have the energy for physical stuff and it def helps my mindset to be occupied - I do hope you start to feel much better soon
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Thanks Desmun, ive just spent the morning in bed after probably doing too much yesterday. This is whats worrying me about going back to work and then letting them down if im to tired the following day.I’m aiming for a week on Monday as i know ive got to bite the bullet at some point.Im just coming upto 6 months post Stem cell transplant but having the flue in December hasnt helped.So you still suffer from fatigue 18 month’s on occasionally?
Thanks John
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Hi John
Have you spoken with your work place about a phased return and reasonable adjustments
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Hi 2db,yes the plan is to work 3 days per week to start with its just that at the moment im still getting the fatigue and worry I’ll let them down.
Thanks John
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Any decent employer will understand how you feel and if they don’t well they have let you down.
Maybe put off your return to work for a few more weeks
Fatigue is horrible but part of our illness and that has to be factored in
Please don’t feel that your letting anyone down
This is about protecting yourself
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Hi @JE1963 please do not worry about letting your employer down, @2DB has given you good information.
If you are not really honest about how you are feeling, doing and your needs your employer will not know.
I know the one about feeling better, overdoing it and then the fatigue setting in.
Juts think what your body had been through medically, emotionally, physically and practically and it takes a long time to build back up, be very kind to yourself.
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