My wife has just been diagnosed with lymphoma (blood cancer) last Thursday. To say we are both devastated is an understatement. We have been married nearly 50 years and always done everything together. The thing is my wife is holding it together but I’m just shattered by the news.
I feel totally overwhelmed with emotion and cant stop crying; which is not helping my wife;
but i cant seem to control it. I have health issues myself (heart failure and waiting for a hip operation) and im not coping well at all. I feel so bogged down and depressed. I love my wife so much and I’m terrified of losing her. She is having more tests next week…
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Hello @beachhhhhhh
Welcome to the forum - whilst I am sure you would rather not be here. I am so incredibly sorry to hear this news about your wife’s lymphoma diagnosis. I share her diagnosis and if it helps I was diagnosed at 46 and I am now 55 and doing very well.
It’s completely understandable that you’re both shattered, especially after nearly 50 years of marriage and a lifetime of doing everything together. Your feelings of being overwhelmed, emotional, and unable to stop crying are a natural response to such a shock. Please know that you are not alone in feeling this way.
It’s okay not to be coping well right now. You’re dealing with a double-whammy of fear for your wife’s health and the strain on your own well-being.
I want to assure you that there is support available for both your wife and for you. It’s important that you remember to look after yourself during this time to I remember that from my husband.
Here are some resources from Blood Cancer UK that I hope will be helpful:
Understanding Lymphoma: While you’ll be getting more information from her medical team next week, you might find it helpful to read about lymphoma on the Blood Cancer UK website. This can sometimes help to demystify things a little:
Lymphoma - what is it, symptoms and treatment | Blood Cancer UK
Coping with a Blood Cancer Diagnosis: This section offers guidance on the emotional impact of a diagnosis, which might help make some sense with what you’re both experiencing: Blood cancer support | Blood Cancer UK
Information for Family and Friends: It’s important that caregivers and loved ones also receive support. This page is specifically for people like you who are supporting someone with blood cancer: Search results for “support with a blood cancer diagnosis” | Blood Cancer UK
Blood Cancer UK offers a range of support services, including a freephone Support Line. Speaking to someone who understands can make a real difference. Please don’t hesitate to call them when you feel ready. They can offer a listening ear.
You’ve found your way here, which is a great start! Our online community is a safe space where you can share your feelings, ask questions, and connect with others who understand what you’re going through. You’ll find many people here who have walked a similar path.
We’re here for you both. Take things one day at a time, especially with the upcoming tests. Focus on getting through next week, and then the week after that. Please continue to reach out here whenever you need to. 0808 2080 888
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Thank you for your reply.
She is having a test today.
By the way, I’ve tried the links, and not of them work.
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A great big welcome and thanks for posting @beachhhhhhh
@Jules seems to have posted the links brilliantly because they are in red, but you are right they are not, perhaps there is work going on behind the scenes.
I will copy this to Blood Cancer UK @BloodCancerUK-SupportTeam for their help.
Very personally I think everyone can deal with shock differently and in a different timescale. Give yourself time.
You have a lot of unknowns going on which I find scary.
Just be ever so kind to yourselves and look after yourselves and please do keep posting how you are both doing.
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@beachhhhhhh @Erica Apologies not sure why I’ve updated them they should work now 
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