I’m new here . My mum has just had tests and is due results in 13th December, but doctors are sure it’s lymphoma. We are in total shock as we’re the doctors .
I realise that until she receives results and is given a diagnosis and treatment plan that there is nothing we can do .
I really need someone to chat to / a group to join to understand everything.
I hope you don’t mind me posting on here x
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Hi @Shellj and a great big welcome I am glad that you have found us and posted you are now part of our forum family.
You sound such a caring daughter and it is so natural that you both feel in shock, I know I was when I was given my diagnosis.
It is also so hard for you as you just cannot make your mum better, but just be there for her.
Obviously you have to wait till Dec 13th
Sometimes we might immediately have treatment, other times we might be put on a ‘watch and wait’ or ‘active monitoring’ approach where we are monitored at regular intervals to see how our condition is altering.
If you would like to talk to someone the Blood Cancer UK support line is there for you on 0808 2080 888
The main thing you can do now is to keep honestly talking and supporting each other.
Really look after yourselves and be very kind to yourselves and finally look after yourself as well as you look after your mum and keep posting
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Hi @Shellj - welcome to the community! I can totally empathize with you as my Mum was also diagnosed with Lymphoma a few years ago. I have also been through a Non-Hodgkins diagnosis myself 13 years ago. For me personally I think the worst time is actually getting the diagnosis and getting all the results and a plan for treatment. The wait is awful.
Once I got the diagnosis as far as the treatment was concerned (I had RCHOP chemo)I thought “bring it on” and just wanted to get started ASAP. Honestly - once I started the chemo it was more of a relief than anything that I was actually starting treatment and could start the countdown of the chemo sessions.
As @Erica says - treatment isn’t always appropriate. My Mum had Marginal Zone Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and was put on a “watch and wait” approach.
Here is a leaflet which you and your Mum might find useful:
Your blood cancer diagnosis: What happens now? | Blood Cancer UK Shop
Sending you all best wishes and also look after yourself as a carer/family member - that is so important to be able to support your Mum.
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Thank you so much for your messages . Mum gets her results on Wednesday morning . I have booked the time off work to be with her .
We have been continuing life as normal but as the day draws near I feel frozen, I can’t explain , maybe I’m playing deaf and can’t believe they are talking my mum .
I will deal with the results on Wednesday and if it is cancer I will be strong for my mum and be there to ask any questions she cannot .
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Hi @Shellj personally I think it is natural to go into a form of denial, it is the body’s way of protecting us.
I will be thinking of you both on Wednesday and great idea to ask the questions that your mum cannot.
Please do let us know how you get on and look after yourselves.
Thinking of you today @Shellj. I hope the appointment went as well as expected this morning. Please keep ion touch and let us know how you got on and how you are too - it’s so important to look after yourself so you can support your Mum
My mum received her results on Wednesday , she has aggressive lymphoma and has been started on steroids and a tablet for her kidneys and is expected to receive her first chemo between Xmas and new year.
It’s all happening so fast ( all within 3 weeks ). At the moment she is fine but I know her first treatment , which I will be there for , is going to bring reality into our lives .
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Thanks for letting us know how your mum’s appointment went @Shellj
Now you know the plan and I certainly know you will be there with her all the way.
Now I realise how difficult this is but perhaps just take it a day at a time, none of us know what the future will be like.
Yes, everything is moving quickly, it often does, but just take time to try and come to terms with it all, I found it does take time.
We are about over the bank holidays and the Blood Cancer UK support line is there for you (opening hours apply) on 0808 2080 888.
Just look after and be very kind to yourselves and please do keep posting
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Now you have a diagnosis, although it is strange, it may make it easier for you all to get your head around. I know it did for me. I am assuming your Mum has started/ or is about to start chemo now. Do you know which chemotherapy regime she is on and how many sessions she is going to have? They are all very different regarding side effects and everyone also reacts differently. I found it useful to have a “chemo calendar” and mark them off as I had them. Don’t look too far ahead though and tell your Mum to take each day as it comes and only do what she feels able to do. It is very normal to have to rest regularly and let your body get used to the chemotherapy. Like @Erica said the support line is there for your Mum and family supporting her so please get in contact if you feel you need some extra support.
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Mum gets her dates for chemo tomorrow. She woke this morning with a large swelling to her neck , hospital said it’s part of her cancer . Things are getting real . Am I strong enough to see her through this ? She is my Mum . My best friend and she has always been the strong one .
I then read the posts and heartbreaking story’s on here and feeling so guilty and selfish for feeling the way I do . My heart is overwhelmed with thoughts and hope for all on here xx
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Her chemo regime is every Thursday… first week long session second week short session . 12 sessions all together .
She has had 2 sessions and has started feeling exhausted, she also looks slightly yellow . My Dad is a manly man but he spends a lot of time crying and trying to make her life easier . They have been married for 60 years .
Apart from going to all of her appointments , visiting every day , what else can I do for both her and Dad ?
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Oh @Shellj you are obviously so caring and it is scary to see your mum being the fragile one that you cannot make better, that role reversal and the overwhelming love you have for both your parents.
As for doing any more than you are already doing perhaps it might be the practical things and asking both your parents separately what jobs are on their mind.
It could be doing a shop, clean sheeting beds, putting rubbish out, washing, cooking a meal, going out for a run in a car, if you have one.
Your parents might both have different thoughts, suggest things, it is equally as difficult for your parents to accept role reversals and accept help.
Everyone might have different ideas.
Perhaps just being there for them is enough.
The Blood Cancer UK Support Line is there for you if you need to talk on 0808 2080 888
Try and just take it one day, or hour at a time, be kind and look after yourselves and please do keep posting.
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