Hi, I’m feeling very alone. Are there any other parents of school-aged children who are worried about the potential removal of all restrictions on schools on July 19? It seems that the government is applying more pressure on schools to prevent temporary absence too.
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Hi @lousyT, no, I am not in that position, but I am not surprised by your anxiety.
The other thing I was struck by was that you were feeling very alone. It is not surprising as the world seems to have opened up again around us. It is really tough being in a minority group which others do not understand, because the government isn’t mentioning us. Others cannot comprehend our anxieties.
You also have your children’s wellbeing, feelings and needs to negotiate.
But on this forum we do all understand so that is why you have this family around you to support you.
I think we are in a anxious waiting game, that horrible time of fear, the what if’s etc.
We will get through this together.
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Thank you Erica. I hope that you are doing ok at the moment x
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You are definitely not alone… I don’t have a family living with me but I do work in a over populated secondary school where our school really isn’t assessing what is happening around the area but simply letting the government policies to dictate the next move…
To be honest it seems totally pointless opening things up at school on 19/7 as schools break up a week longer … covid may only be schools problem for a week but it’s parents that then have to deal with the aftermath.
Once exams have finished, students often lack motivation to learn in the final weeks so as a teacher teaching them something new is a nightmare… Mix in all the celebrations of kids and teachers at the end… I’m anxious like most that many will be throwing caution to the wind…
Now I’m not saying stay in lockdown but I feel slow transition is needed esp as my entire school is self isolating at the moment. I’ve done really well to keep myself safe but I know that’s not possible with in house family members and kids especially.
Speak to your children about your anxiety and feelings, they may, probably will take this into consideration in their next moves and behaviour around you post 19/7 which may entail your anxiety easing…
Stay safe and trust me you are not alone…
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Hi @lousyT. You’re definitely not alone.
I’m an assistant head in a primary school and have two children at secondary school. We have just had two positive cases where I work and I must say it feels me with dread!
I think it’s very hard for others to understand how we feel and to be honest I’ve given up trying. I’m just doing what I feel comfortable with.
I’m trying really hard not to let my anxieties transfer over to my children because I understand the need for them to get back to some kind of normality. However, the balance is difficult!
They have had it tougher than me I think - worrying about me getting sick or passing something on to me and I want them to feel ok. I’ve just managed to get 6 sessions of counselling through McMillan to support me through the next few weeks. Is it something you would consider?
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Hi lousy, so sorry to hear you feel alone in you worries about restrictions being lifted in schools on the 19th July. I totally understand how you feel. I have 2 sons one 18 and 1 just turned 16. My 16 year old has now had a first vaccination but before this I was very worried about them bringing Covid home. My son was sent home to isolate for 2 wks back in April which was incredibly frightening for the whole family. Luckily he was Covid negative but it could have been a very different outcome. My son said “I’m so scared that I might kill you Mum”, that’s not something a child should have to deal with, it’s a scandal. Half the European countries and the US are vaccinating 12years +. We are only vaccinating very vulnerable children in the UK. The UK has reacted slowly during the whole Covid 19 threat on many things so maybe they will change their minds. I wonder how young your children are? If they are little I just don’t know how you manage this situation. All I can do is wish you strength to deal with the uncertainty and hope that schools still apply common sense to keeping children safe, and don’t arbitrarily instigate government directives if this puts the children in their care at risk. My sons college asked students to carry on wearing masks after the government said it wasn’t necessary, good on them!! Take Care and you are not alone x
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Hi Rammie, thank you for your reply.
I can totally imagine how stressful it must be to be a teacher in a busy secondary and that you feel that the protections just aren’t there for you. I have found from my experience as a parent dealing with our school that exceptions just aren’t being made for vulnerable families. I also agree that there seems no point in opening things up one week before school ends! I don’t think any of us want to stay in lockdown any longer than we have to for the sake of it, but it’s impossible to feel comfortable acting like everyone else! It feels like walking a tightrope right now.
My daughter is pretty sensible (she’s 10) but unfortunately in the past we’ve been treated like we have ‘anxieties’ and are passing our ‘anxieties’ on to our daughter. She is just vigilant about things such as handwashing, getting too close to other students etc.
I hope that you stay safe and can get through the rest of the term with understanding from your colleagues and parents.
Best wishes
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Hi Nichola
Thank you for your reply. I’m so sorry that you, like Rammie above, are in the midst of it all as a vulnerable teacher. Like you say, it’s really hard to explain to others that you aren’t just being careful because you are paranoid, but because there is a genuine risk. Like you say, it’s really hard to not let your concerns pass on to your children because they hear you talking about things and they have been told to be a bit more mindful than the average parent. It is really hard to get balance, like you say! I’m glad that you were able to access some support through Macmillan. I have thought about it myself - talking it through with someone - but I worry that they will secretly just thing I’m paranoid and anxious! However, finding someone who understands the background to the worry is a really good idea. I hope that you get support from your colleagues and parents to be able to stay safe at school. Best wishes and take care.
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I think the thought of support and counselling is so scary. I thought like you, but in the end just went for it. I still think I sound like an anxious crazy women at times (aren’t we all a little bit nuts! 
) but it helps me to get it off my chest and listening to responses of somebody who is trained and doesn’t know me, is actually really refreshing. It’s always there if and when you need it X
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Hi Lyn, thank you for your reply.
I’m glad that you and others on here understand how I feel as it does feel really lonely. I’m so glad that your sons are able to have the vaccine. I think we’ve all been in a permanent state of anxiety for so long now, but it’s hard to explain this to people who are happily living their lives. If I take my daughter out of school she will lose her secondary place as it’s based on feeder schools. I just don’t know what to do. She’s nearly 10 and will have to be in school for applying and probably, gaining a place. Deregistering doesn’t feel like an option and school won’t allow us to temporarily homeschool. I’m glad your son’s college have seen sense and are continuing to advise wearing masks. So good to see that they are taking it seriously. I am wondering whether I should ask my daughter’s primary if she can wear a mask, but they haven’t been very understanding. Take care x
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Hi @lousyT, it must be so difficult for you trying to get the balance right, especially with a 9 yr old daughter.
I was struck by you saying about Macmillan that they might secretly think you paranoid and anxious, I might feel they are an organisation that does understand how people using their services think and feel and that is why they provide the such valuable services they do. I have found just having the time and space to explore how I am thinking and feeling has really helped me in the past. I am saying this a s a person that has always tried to double guess how others are thinking and feeling all my life !!!
Please let us know how you get on and stay safe and you are definitely not alone, you have us.
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Hi @lousyT , you are in such a difficult position. Of course you want to do the best for your daughter’s education but this needs to be balanced with keeping you healthy. It sounds an impossible situation. If you remove your daughter from school, home schooling is hard unless you are a teacher! The older your children get the more difficult it becomes and do you stop children socialising out of school too? I think you should certainly be asking the primary school for your daughter to carry on wearing a mask. You can get the see through ones now which should be perfectly acceptable to the school and your daughter wont struggle to communicate. I know that this isn’t the perfect solution if no-one else is wearing one but it’s better than nothing. Be strong don’t be fobbed off, schools can be daunting places sometimes. It’s your child and your life and you have every right to protect both. Dont forget that you can order Covid tests free of charge so your daughter could do these maybe 2/3 times a week just for a little more peace of mind, that worked well for us. More people are being vaccinated which should help but I almost have the feeling that schools will start treating Covid like the common cold in the not too distant future. I think the clinically vulnerable people at home just aren’t really considered so protect yourself as best you can. Hope this helps, hugs to you xx
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Hi Lousy
I am not in your postion but I work in a very large secondary school. It has only just opened again after Covid outbreak and the rates of infection are very high.
I am anxious with mask wearing stopping and the whole school mixing in September.
However, I will continue to wear my mask in September and keep as safe as I can. It seems we all with blood cancer have to access every risk and decide what is best for us
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Hi @Lyn99 thank you for your reply. It’s funny as, unlike a lot of people, I’m more than happy to homeschool temporarily, but the school/LA/government won’t let me do it. That’s the infuriating part. In fact, my daughter did pretty well academically in the three months I kept her off. It’s really just missing out on a secondary place that I’m worried about most. I think you’re right - I should probably approach school about my daughter wearing a mask - there seems to be no other solution right now. I hope that you all stay safe too x
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Hi @Telephonie thank you for your reply. I’m sorry that you have the stress of working in a secondary, especially one with high infection levels. I’m glad that you are going to be able to continue wearing your mask and hope you can keep yourself safe, take care
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