Hello, I’m starting treatment on the 16th January, I was officially diagnosed on December 2nd after having all the tests, no bone involvement and no CRAB, my FLC was 275 so tgthat has triggered ‘active’ I lost my dad on 18th December and have his funeral on 14th, I’m so scared, tired, and emotional all I can see is my own looming death, and just petrified of all the possible side effects what can I do to learn to cope. I’m also executor of dads estate and have all that to deal with
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Hi. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with so much at the same time. Just for reassurance, as someone four months since diagnosis and chemo treatment starting, it has got easier to cope with as the treatment routine got underway and everything becomes more familiar. Asking for help with side effects, particularly nausea, has been really successful - I wish I had done it sooner so don’t hesitate to call your support team. And there are so many other support routes out there, emotional and practical, for you, both through your hospital team and some great charities. At first it was difficult to ask when everything seemed too much to cope with, particularly emotionally, but if you take the plunge it does lighten the load very quickly, I found. Take care.
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Hello @Byrnebaby.
You have had such a hard couple of months and I can only imagine how difficult this week is going to be for you for so many reasons. It must be so much to process and to deal with all at once 
I agree with @Chloe. It’s really hard to ask for help but it’s the best thing I did. You are only going to have a couple of days after the funeral before you go in to treatment so it’s going to be very overwhelming.
We are always here to listen but sometimes it does help to talk things through. Please remember the helpline is amazing. Have you spoke with them before? If not, I think it would help.
All you can do at the moment is take one step at a time. Try not to think too far ahead, just a day, morning or an hour at a time.
Sending lots of love to you and you’ll be in my thoughts this week X
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Hi @Byrnebaby, just wanting to pop in and give you my support. The last couple of months have been truly awful for you - I’m so glad that you found us and continue to post on here, and it is a real privelege to be able to support you as you go through this dreaful time, so thank you for trusting us to do so.
Putting aside my ‘Forum Manager’ hat for a moment, and talking to you as someone who went through treatment myself (chemotherapy, as I had stage 4B Hodgkin Lymphoma), I wanted to say that I was completely consumed by dread in the lead up to my first treatment session too.
The first day was the worst (though nowhere near what I’d built it up to in my head) - not knowing what to expect, feeling so terrified. But the nurses were incredibly kind, and it honestly was mostly difficult because of the ‘newness’ more than anything. After that first session, they knew exactly what to give me for side effects like nausea etc, I knew where to go and who the nurses were, and I knew what time the tea & coffee cart came round!
If you’re preparing a treatment bag, I found these really helpful: water bottle, lip balm, cosy socks, books/puzzles, notebook and pen (for tracking anything to mention to nurses), ginger sweets for nausea, a blanket, phone charger, and headphones.
Not sure if your treatment is likely to causehair loss, and if you’re worried about that - but I ended up embracing it with fun earrings, satin-lined hats, headscarves, funky coloured wigs.
And as mentioned above and when we chatted before, the Blood Cancer UK Support Services team is also here for you, and we’d really like to hear from you if and when you feel able and if you think it would help, but no pressure at all. You can reach us on the Support Line (0808 2080 888) or via email on support@bloodcancer.org.uk.
Sending you strength for your first session, and we will be here for you. Please be gentle with yourself,
Ceri
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