Hi @Smurf08, perhaps you are in complete shock and that is why it all feels so surreal and as you say it might really hit you both when you see your mum in person.
You might want to look at the section for carers on this site.
I think being a carer is the hardest job in the world, you are all stars.
Keep posting we are all here for you.
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Thank you. My mum is home now and has been amazingly strong. She returns to hospital on the 19th for more chemo. We just have to go with it and support her through her journey x x
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That’s good news @Smurf08. I bet she is so pleased to be home with you all and to have her own bed tonight! How are you doing? I know you was worried about it all hitting home when you saw her x
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And your dad off course x
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Wow, @Smurf08 so your mum is home, how did her homecoming go and how were all your emotions?
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We all managed to hold things together well. Amazed and how strong my mum has been, so proud of her x
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Hi @Smurf08 and we are so, so proud of you, you are a star. Take care and keep posting.
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hope you’re doing okay @Smurf08? i’m so glad you’ve continued to reach out for support on here. and hope also your mum and the rest of your family are okay too?
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You and your family have certainly had a tough time @Smurf08. I hope you’re looking after yourself too so that you can be strong for your mom. COVID restrictions certainly can’t have made things any easier. We’ve had 5 cases of cancer in my immediate family in the last five years including my own so I completely understand your anxiety. Keep us up to date on how you and your mom are doing.
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5 cases in 5 years! That is devastating. So sorry to hear this.
Still constantly worried about my mum. It said in her discharge letter that the radiologists will be looking at her scan to see if the cancer has spread to her ribs. She is still in pain at times, especially during the night when the meds are wearing off.
Is it not the case that when cancer is in your bones there is less chance of treatment working x
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Hi @Smurf08, sorry I cannot answer your question but please keep us posted how you all are. Take care and stay safe.
A tough few years @Franko. I really hope next year is better for you all x
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So much to worry about and I appreciate how hard it must be. Keep talking to the medical team and write down all off those questions x
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Experience has taught me that it’s better to wait to hear things officially rather than let my thoughts run away with me. I hope it’s the least worst outcome for you @Smurf08 but it sounds pretty horrific.
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Hi @Franko, you certainly have had a very hard few years.
Any tips for not letting your thoughts run away with you???
My only approach is usually that if something hasn’t happened yet then it may not and there’s always hope. Also by acknowledging what the worst case scenario might be you’re slightly prepared for it if and when it happens. Not that that makes it easier but it helps you find the strength to deal with it. It always occurred to me that my mom might die whilst I was having treatment so when it happened it was slightly less of a shock and when you’ve hit those sort of lows there’s only one direction left to go and that’s back up again, albeit slowly sometimes.
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I think that makes sense @Franko. I always go to the worst case scenario, I just can’t help it.
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Thanks @Franko, I like your approach, my head seems to have a will of it’s own.
So understandable that you’re still so worried, it must be incredibly tough for you and your whole family. Does your mum’s treating team know that she is still in pain at times? They may be able to further support her with this.
Whilst yes it’s true that in general the more areas it has spread, the harder it can be to treat; the best people to speak to about your mum’s specific situation and individual circumstances if you have any questions about your mums prognosis, or effectiveness of her treatment, would be members of her treating team.
I can only imagine how must everything must be to process at the moment, so if you or dad want to talk this through at all, at any point, please do remember we are only at the end of the phone.
In case it’s useful at all for you, we have some information for people with a loved one with blood cancer - Someone I know has blood cancer. and we also have some tips and info around emotional support and coping Mind and Emotions
Take care and do keep us updated if you’re feeling up to it - we are all here for you, Alice
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Thanks everyone for your amazing support and I hope everyone is as good as they possibly could be in these times.
Think my mums cancer diagnosis has hit me today (found out the other week it has spread to her lungs, liver and spleen). I have been so strong up until now but my mum was crying earlier worrying that this Xmas might be her last and that has tipped me over the edge!!! I’ve been so strong up until now.
Why is life so cruel. Thanks for reading. Sending love to so many others in the same boat x
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