Hi @Smurf08, I think you are entitled to ‘have a moment’, you have been so strong, for me it seems to be that final straw that leads me to one and to see someone I love worrying, scared and crying is my tipping point, they are usually thinking exactly what I have been fearing.
You cannot just keep going and keep going forever, trust me it doesn’t do me any favours emotionally, physically or health wise.
Life is cruel sometimes, you cannot control the future, I know this might be really hard but perhaps you could talk to your mum and ask her how she would really like to spend Xmas. Spoil yourselves.
We are here to support you and you can say what it is really like to be you here, take care.
Hi @Smurf08. I think there is always a certain moment that hits you really hard and the reality of everything that’s going on suddenly hits home. As @Erica said, you have been so strong, but for anybody, seeing their mum so upset would’ve been just so so hard. Remember we are all here for you. Keep posting, phone the helpline, just let people help. I wondered if your mum was getting any support? Has she been offered any from the hospital? Perhaps it’s worth looking into, when you are ready off course.
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Hi@Smurf08
Don’t feel guilty, having a cry with your Mum has probably done the world of good for you both.
Are her medical team, her CNS etc aware that she’s in pain as the meds are depleting & causing her pain. She needs pain management. Don’t let them let your mum suffer. That’s not what anyone wants.
I do know that at my local hospital they refer cancer patients to the local hospice for pain management. They have a whole arsenal to help. Only problem is the word ‘hospice’ can put the fear of god into some people.
Make Christmas one to remember. Do all the special things. Spend time together. Just find time to sit & talk.
Sending you all the best.
Christine
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How are things @Smurf08?
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Thanks everyone you have been amazing and I appreciate all your support so much.
My mum had a blood sample taken today prior to chemo on Wednesday. Things definately hit you and become more real further down the line after diagnosis. My friends have been amazing but I am conscious that I dont want to talk about my mums cancer journey too much. It’s gradually getting more difficult seeing my mum worrying and her hair slowly falling out. I’ve always known cancer is one of the cruelist diseases but so different when the person you love so much is dealing with it x
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Good morning @Smurf08. I think it does put a whole new perspective on it when it’s you or a family member going through it. It’s great you have friends around you. I was interested in why you didn’t want to talk about it with friends as much? I know I shy away from it for a couple of reasons. One, because sometimes I can’t get the words out, or two, because I think they’ll get fed up with me. However, they have said they have no problem with me just getting things if my chest. They only wish they could help more X
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Yes, @Smurf08, it really does literally bring it home when someone you love has blood cancer or other conditions and as I keep on saying I think being a relative, carer or friend can be the hardest role in the world, The same emotions plus all the practicalities and you are completely powerless to ‘make it better’.
It sounds as if you have amazing friends and I agree with your dilemma of not wanting to talk about your mum all the time. I think it is also nice to have a place where I can just be me and sometimes have a place just to have a break and have a laugh which actually replenishes my batteries, makes me a better carer and gives me something to go back and tell my love one about, if appropriate.
Does anyone else have this dilemma?
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I am so sorry for your news. When I was in a haematology bed it was very hygiene secure with a wash station just inside the door which everyone used before they came to me. It is like barrier nursing. Good to know in these times.
I am sorry that your Mum had such difficult news. She will be feeling annoyed that she has given you all worry which is totally wrong but such a natural Mum reaction. You sound like a really tight family unit. That will be super important. Time to find some lighter moments in the darkness and I can tell that you will do your utmost to support your Mum and Dad. Big love to you.
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Needing a virtual hug from all you lovely people.
My mum gave me and my dad a massive fright this morning. She took a funny turn when on the toilet and was completely unresponsive. I was shaking her, shouting loudly but she was just staring blankly and not reacting. I genuinely thought we had lost her and was getting ready to do CPR. Managed to get her on the floor and phoned an ambulance. We kept her talking but she just wanted to sleep.
Her BP was low but came up slowly. She is going through chemotherapy so is losing her hair and had diarrhoea this morning. She is at home but the ward want to see her if she spikes a temp, becomes more breathless or feels dehydrated. This is heartbreaking, my poor mum 
Xx
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Oh @Smurf08, loads of virtual hugs, it must have been terrifying to find your mum was unresponsive, it sounds as if you did absolutely brilliantly.
It must also be horrible to see your mum going through chemo and having such side effects.
You say it is heart breaking for your poor mum, which of course it is, but is is also heart breaking for you and your dad and you are absolutely powerless to make it better.
I expect you are also trying to keep everything running smoothly.
Yes, please keep posting because we are definitely all here for you.
Be kind to yourselves and spoil yourselves.
One thing I can do is send you a huge virtual hug!!! What a hard day you have had but how lucky it was that you were there. Obviously it will take its toll on you too so please take care. Ending with another virtual hug X
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Thank you. Your right about feeling powerless, there is literally nothing you can do other than supporting them through this awful journey.
My thoughts are with others in a similar situation xx
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Many thoughts with you in all you are dealing with - I feel for you remembering many years ago when my mum had cancer (albeit a very different one) I still remember how that felt to watch - but do know the love and support you are giving her is the most precious thing - continue to spend time and show you care and feel and that will be your most helpful gift right now - also having someone to speak up for her and arrange things talk to docs etc etc will help her immensely as she goes through her treatment - but my empathy is with you knowing how it all is for you - keep coming back and letting us know how you are getting on
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Hi @Smurf08, how are you all doing now, virtual hugs?
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We were so sorry to read this, it sounds like such a frightening thing to happen. How are you all now? It’s such a relief to hear she’s back at home now, but i can only imagine, having this painful memory of what happened cannot be easy at all. Please do keep reaching out @Smurf08 and let us know how you get on
Su
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Thanks everyone. Mum is doing ok, better than the other day when she gave me and my dad a massive fright. Next chemo is on the 23rd if everything is ok with her bloods. Xx
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Will be thinking off you @Smurf08. I hope it all goes well and you mum manages afterwards. Sending you and your mum special wishes. Please take care x
Thanks so much for the update @Smurf08 on you and your parents.
We will be thinking of you all on the 23rd, look after yourselves and please let us know how you get on.
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Thank you. I will message after her next chemo session. Hope your all well x
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I’m so sorry to read this. Totally understandable that you are worried. I’m sorry I don’t have any useful advice for you, I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone. Sending positive thoughts your way, and I hope it’s nothing too serious. X
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