@Smurf08, you are certainly not alone and we are thinking about you and your parents. It is a really tough time for you all, patient and carers.
@Smurf08
Through this ‘journey’ you need to know that your Mum’s team are there for you all. Don’t be afraid to contact them when you have any worries, no matter how small you may think they are. You’re not bothering them by asking for reassurance. You should have been assigned a Clinical Nurse Specialist. Remember there are staff at the end of the phone, even over the Christmas holidays…hopefully your Mum will be fine & you’ll have no reason to reach out.
Talking to friends…Do you have a special friend who you can just sit (well probably contact via FaceTime or Zoom at the mo) & just off load to. If they’re your real friend they should understand that you really need to do this. To talk is so therapeutic. Especially to someone who isn’t family & isn’t going through this.
Hope all goes well on Wednesday.
Sending you hugs 
Christine
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Hi @Corfu80, @Smurf08, @Amz, @SP7, @Nichola75, and@Jilly20 and don’t forget that we will all be supporting each other on this forum over the holiday period and beyond.
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We most certainly will!
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We’ll definitely have to support one another now that 5 Christmas Day bubble has been popped!
Feeling down but been here before.
@Smurf08 How you doing?
Hugs
Christine
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Hi @Corfu80, How are you feeling today?.
To be honest being in Tier 4 isn’t going to make any difference to me, I feel really sorry for those who had already made plans and had their bubbles burst so late on.
How is everyone else feeling?
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I was a bit down last night and still a bit frustrated that the promised land of normality seems to be moving further and further away but the events of the last few years have taught me to be philosophical and deal with the unexpected if nothing else. There are worse things that could happen than Christmas for one.
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Hi @Franko, I think it was the the thought of a light at the end of the 2020 tunnel.
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Be thinking of you and your mum tomorrow @Smurf08. Sending special thoughts x
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Hi @Smurf08, How are things?
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You’ve gone very quiet 
How are things?
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Thanks everyone for being concerned about my mum and I. Sorry I haven’t been on here recently.
Update - my mum has just had her 4th chemo session out of 6 and she has a scan on Friday to see if the chemo is working. Obviously we are all extremely worried about this. She has lost lots of hair and her main symptoms after chemo is diarrhoea and “funny turns” think I have said in a previous post that she took a funny turn on the toilet. Me and my dad thought she was away 
ambulance came and her low blood pressure caused the funny turn.
Until you see a loved one going through chemotherapy you have no idea how brutal it is. I just feel so helpless when my mum feels utterly crap but I know I’m being the best daughter and carer I can be to her and my dad.
Sending love to everyone else in a similar position xx
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It sounds like you are doing such a wonderful job at looking after everybody. It must be so hard to watch what’s going on. They are very lucky to have a daughter like you. You must all be very anxious about the scan on Friday. Just keep letting us know how you all are - when you feel ready off course - no pressure. We will just kept checking in with you to check you’re ok and let you know we are thinking about you. Make sure you take care of yourself as well X
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Take care x
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Oh @Smurf08, you sure are the best daughter your parents could have. As you say seeing your mum going through such a brutal treatment and side effects must be so, so hard, you are just powerless to make your mum better and feeling well.
Please do keep telling us what it is really like being you, sometimes I find that just helps diffuse what is going on for me a little bit.
Take care and stay safe, you are a best daughter, pat yourself on the back.
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@Smurf08 you’re doing all you can. Many of us know that it’s not easy for someone to do anything practical for you when you’re having chemo. With me it was my mom wanting to help both me and my sister when we had chemo and feeling helpless when she couldn’t do much. I hope that things improve for you all and needless to say find some time to be kind to yourself too.
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I think that rushing to the toilet from lying in bed is something we all do. I had a dizzy spell in hospital doing the same and the sister turned her eyes to heaven and said “ Why do you all think your blood pressure can cope with this quick change when you are unwell. Sit on the bed a minute or too before you do gymnastics and you will not feel dizzy.” I can still see her face!!
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@Smurf08 & Everyone Else,
I remember my husband sitting beside my bed when I was recovering from SCT. He still says I didn’t know he was even there…I did. I used to be sleeping & then I’d open my eyes to check her was still there & drop off again. It was the reassurance that someone was there for you.
I’m sure your Mum is completely aware of all your doing for her. It doesn’t have to be the big things, it’s often the little things that reassure, the things you do but don’t realise.
I remember during my recovery, 12 years ago, so mobiles were very basic, I would hear my little Nokia ping with a text from someone, just that ping made you realise that even though i was in solitary confinement, people were thinking of me whilst going about there busy lives. Some days I had the strength to read them, others not, but eventually I had the strength to text back.
Chemo can be so exhausting & it hits everyone differently but the care & love we receive is always the same.
Just be there for Mum.
Best of luck with the scan.
Let us know how things are.
Christine 
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so true @Corfu80. Just knowing somebody is there is so comforting. @Smurf08, been thinking of you and your mum x
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Thanks everyone. I will let you all know the outcome of my mums scan x
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