It feels a bit like being thrown to the lions. One day you’re shielding away from the world and then it’s suddenly safe! We have to decipher it all for ourselves now but with media information bombarding us. I still restrict my news input but you need something to help guide your choices. Media tends to dwell on the bad which is why it’s so difficult I guess.
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Hi @Lababe, my husband cannot take my thoughts, he goes around with his head in the sand, although he has taken shielding seriously.
That is why this forum is so vital for me to just say how it is to be me with others that really understand and for me to know that I am not going mad. Take care.
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Just catching up on how everybody has been managing?
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Beginning to feel a touch of deja vu. Anticipated the changes a week before they happened just as when we went into lockdown. Is it a matter of time before shielding is truly addressed again? I have and continue to enjoy my daily walks but really have not ventured into shops, except briefly into an empty shop to pick up a click and collect. Not entered a supermarket since March. Not eaten out just enjoyed the fresh air. Seems I won’t be doing anything like that until next year now anyway. Hospital appointment attended and a scan to be done soon, just hoping that can be fitted in within a safe period to avoid the limbo that has existed most of this year. Now trying to get my head round how to continue seeing my family in the future months without freezing 
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@Lababe my kids even feel like that as they worry about me. I think I am less at risk than many but I still don’t want to take the chance. The sense of not being able to socialise is my biggest fear: I love being around people; it’s my job and I chose it as it suits me. Being forced to have no contact is tough, my Mum is not even sure if she should come down from Scotland to see me!! The toughest thing is actually not about me, but watching my kids suffer. One at Uni seeing his medical training impacted and the other in her final year of A-levels; the Government and virus are impacting their futures!
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Hi @Lababe, I could have written your post as you sounded just like me, I also feel cheated out of a spring and summer. Talk of Strictly and Christmas and I think of dark mornings and evenings and I am not going to sit outside in the cold social distanced from a friend and us both shivering.
As @Lou said the lack of social interaction and contact is so hard, I think I will need the support of this forum even more over the coming months.
How are you doing in other ways?
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Hi. It is good to hear that my feelings are mirrored elsewhere. I am lucky to have my husband supporting me and able to take the same action as me. Having had an unexpected consultation this week in outpatients, I was able to ask the consultant about Covid directly. He said that although some people are at a greater risk than me my risk is considerable and I should take care not to catch it. It reinforced what I already knew, that this isn’t something to mess about with. We see so many people out and about seemingly unaware of what is going on, carrying on as normal. Everything appears normal, even if it isn’t, and it’s out of kilter with what is going on in my head, constantly. I do not normally dislike the darker months, I enjoy snuggling in and ignoring the world so maybe that might make things a little easier. Not being able to see the “normal” won’t highlight our abnormal??? The biggest downside is not being really able to invite people in for coffee, lunch etc and socialising outdoors would/could be most unpleasant. When I feel panic setting in I go back to a day at a time. Daren’t even look towards Christmas. This forum is truly supportive enabling a conversation where doubts and insecurities can be expressed without feeling someone is going to say “don’t be silly”.
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Yes, @Lababe, nothing we are thinking or feeling is silly on here, that is what is so supportive about our very special forum.
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One day at a time is sometimes the best way to go. On a bad day I just do a couple of hours at a time. Definitely eases the pressure X
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I thought it might be good to just check in on this thread to see how people are finding everything at the moment! How are people coping emotionally and managing anxieties? Are people finding that others are sticking to the rules?
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Hi Alice, I only go out early for a walk a day in a recreation ground and life just appears the ‘old normal’ out there.
I have actually been to the Gp’s recently, twice, how weird to actually get into my best Blood Cancer UK tee shirt and matching leggings. Walking the short distance there it was just like the ‘old normal’ then I got to the surgery and it was so well set out with instructions for flu jabs and other instructions for appointments and back I went into my masked world.
We have had 2 decorators here all last week so I have been isolating with my mask on, they were not wearing masks nor did they offer to do so.
However there were 3 contractors working in the communal areas of our flats and in the mornings if they saw me coming out for my walk one of them would say ‘masks’ and they immediately put their mask on.
I am getting quite anxious at seeing they local Covid numbers rising quicker and quicker.
I sort of have a feeling of resignation that this is going to be an isolating time from family and friends until I don’t know when.
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Hello Alice. Thank you for asking this question. I am not a keen traveller, especially since my blood cancer diagnosis, and get quite anxious about having to go out. This has been a problem pre-Covid, but I am finding now that because I have been shielding for so long, that I get even more anxious when I do have to leave my home for medical appointments or to visit my mother and sister who are part of my support bubble. Going out for me has become even harder since lockdown. I live in a building of several flats and am noticing that some of my immediate neighbours are not abiding by the tier 2 regulations. They are continuing to have visitors indoors and because we have shared communal areas I feel they are putting me at risk. Hope this makes sense. Warm wishes. Willow
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Hi @Willow, it sounds as if you are in a scary place.
I know what you mean as I have shielded here in my flat for so long, just going out for a daily social distanced, masked, walk and also for medical appointments I actually don’t want to go out anywhere now.
We have also been shielding for a long while now and I cannot see an end to it, it’s very weird isn’t it.
I have realised I cannot control other people and what they do or don’t do., all I can do is look after my own safety.
We can all support each other through these Covid times on this forum, so keep posting.
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It does feel like there is no end to it doesn’t it @Erica!
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Hi @Willow. It makes it so difficult when others are not following the rules and off course, adds to the anxiety of it all. It’s really good that you are seeing your mum and sister. However hard this might be I’m glad you are keeping that contact going. I can imagine you are all a great support to each other x
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Well - I was looking forward to a relaxing half term after a really busy few weeks - I wish! After we broke up a couple of more positive cases were reported so calls the parents and letters to be sent which took all off Saturday! Awaiting more tests off adults and children so looking like more calls to be made tomorrow. Just can’t get away from it. I think I find the most difficult bit the discussions I have to have with my team about the procedures, the worry about more cases etc and as much as I try not to be selfish about it, all I can think about is that I don’t want to go back to work. So, I’m avoiding reading all of the WhatsApp messages unless it involves me me completing a task otherwise it will send me into a panic! I can’t see it getting any easier the next few weeks either!
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Gosh, @Nichola75, you must be completely exhausted emotionally, physically and practically. Take lots of care of yourself.
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Well all I can say is that I have returned to shielding, almost. When the weather allows I do have a walk outside but other than that nothing. The count is rising here and people are not following the rules. I pick the time to leave my home and am relieved on return. My shielding exercise programme is now in full swing and there appears to be no end in sight. I felt that my mental health was suffering going out as I did not feel safe and that is when the balance shifted to shielding. The people in power say we should go out and about within the rules of our local area, currently our rate of infection here is as high, if not slightly higher, than it was in May when they wouldn’t allow us out so why should it be any different now? The risk to me, as an individual, have not changed and on the advice of my clinicians I am taking enormous care of myself, I just wish that we were recognised in some way for doing so. After all we are not just looking after ourselves but saving the NHS.
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@Alice_BloodCancerUK I’m a bit confused about the guidance for people like us. I’m in tier 3 area and obviously generally everyone is asked to stay at home as much as possible etc. but people like us, if we cannot work from home then it’s fine to go to work. I’m still waiting the NHS letter to explain all these things and government website says that I should probably even socially distance myself from my husband, ie. living from different rooms and avoid all contact. Yet at the same time, I’m okay to go and do the work outside my home when I cannot do it from home.
I’m like @Lababe staying indoors as much as I can, but it’s hard when some stuff I cannot work from home but I don’t also have any documentation to produce HR to say I’m not going out at all.
My medical team haven’t been in touch and last time I called and asked about something (4 weeks ago) still haven’t got call back so it’s basically pointless anyway.
As hard as it is to be completely shielding, I rather shield as instructed by NHS than end up poorly with Covid!
Thanks for checking on us. X
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Oh, @Lababe, it is really interesting that you say that you think your mental health was suffering actually going out because you did not feel safe and I think that might be so true.
I am also so glad that you are taking enormous care of yourself, as the advert says 'you are worth it !!
I do agree that an outside walk is beneficial providing I am avoiding people, wearing a mask and keeping my distance from others if I happen to pass them.
I would be interested in hearing about your shielding exercise programme, it might help us all.