I'm going slightly mad

Continuing the discussion from What are you looking forward to doing again?:

It’s been challenging …my mum is blessed with good health and at 86 is very strong willed. She is lucky she has no Alzheimer’s or other illness. Just a touch of arthritis. It’s the not going out the hard bit. I stopped working a year ago took early retirement. My blood condition was the deciding factor in this…Luckily mums lived with me for 22 yrs so we get on well… just grateful we are still here.!!

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Good morning @Hmc63. Lovely to meet you. It’s been very hard hasn’t it. I’m lucky, like you, as my mum lives next door. I can’t imagine how hard it would be (like for others) if I couldn’t see her. I know how difficult it has been - and still is - for some of our forum friends who have not been able to see family and friends. How lovely that you get on so well. I agree, being stuck indoors has come with its challenges at times! Have you managed to get out and about yet? What else have you been doing to look after your physical and mental wellbeing? I love hearing about what others have been up to. It gives gives me some good tips. Also, reading about the challenges makes me realise I am not alone x

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Hi @Hmc63, how have you and your mum been doing over the past month?

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Hi @Hmc63 As soon as I read the title of your post I started singing the Queen song, I am a fan or all music, but Queen is near the top of my list.
Yes, lockdown etc seems to have been going on for a long time doesn’t it.
I was wearing a winter coat when it started and I think I will be wearing it again soon.
I really struggled with the not going out, I like my fresh air. I am now going out for a walk every day.
I think however well you get on with someone it is hard 24/7 for what seems a very long time. This forum has really helped me get through these months.
You say you blood cancer was the deciding factor in taking early retirement, I would be interested in hearing more about how it is and has been for you.

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It’s been ok …bumpy ride getting medication sorted. Then platelets go back up and it’s here we go again.
I find recently its a lonely journey. Feeling very alone and isolated the last month. I just.get scared to go out …I’m.not the only one I know…I think knowing there’s no cure for my blood disorder as I call it annoys me but I live in hope.
My retirement hasn’t gone as I planned but I’m trying to make the best of it. 6 yrs later I’m still here. :blush:

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Hi @Hmc63, yes, it can feel a lonely journey and that is why I need this forum because people on here understand me as perhaps others cannot. To me it also feels more isolating due to Covid lockdown and sometimes it appears that the rest of the world is going back to normal and I am the only one isolating.
I also think that we have been isolating for so long that I am getting scared to go out especially when others do not seem to take the wearing of masks and social distancing seriously.
I order my groceries on line and they are delivered and I am in my routine here, I am quite comfortable and there is always something to do, but it is also isolating.
No, there is no cure for my blood cancer either, I manage the symptoms well and yes, we live in hope.
I have realised my blood cancer has also brought about a lot of feelings of loss. This is not what I had planned for my retirement either.
I am still here 16 yrs on.
Thank you for your post I realise I am not the only one now, I look forward to hearing more from you.

Hi @Hmc63 and @Erica. I identify so much with how you are both feeling. I think this shielding has accentuated our sense of isolation and loss, especially now when it feels life has gone back to some sort of normality for a lot of people. Little things that I have been looking forward to that are now not happening have hit me extra hard. For example I used to enjoy meeting friends in a local Sainsbury’s cafe but have just found out that the cafe is closing so we won’t be meeting there again. Also, a church group that has been meeting via Zoom have now decided to meet in a small socially distanced way at the church. This now excludes those of us who are still shielding. All these little losses add up to a much bigger loss and it feels like the anticipation I had has been snatched away. It is good to know that others are feeling the same. Warm wishes. Willow

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You are definitely not alone! Hopefully - one day soon, we might be do some of those things again. We can hope!

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Yes I think we all identify with the feelings of things lost as a result of lockdown. Some of us feel able to take the freedoms from lockdown easing whilst others understandably feel nervous about mixing with people given not everyone is being diligent in their observation of rules. I get annoyed by people not wearing masks or keeping their distance but I’m told I have to be understanding :-/

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I’m looking forward to a yoga class. That a what I’m pushing myself to do. I also care for my elderly mum she’s 86 in good health but has bad arthritis in her neck. She can’t lift things at all so I do most things now she can look after herself …personal stuff just physical things. She doesn’t have dementia so that’s a blessing. Does repeat things sometimes…I tend to switch off a bit. Least she’s safe and with the dog…he gets talked to alot.
Started reading again a passion for books and is stoppex. I like audio books I love poetry but currently reading the new Anne Cleevez novel. Which is good . Then I’ve got Vanity fair to read and Richard Osmans new novel. Off to see to the washing machine. Take care . Strictly come dancing starts soon…another of my passions. I’ve missed 3 theatre performances this year Aliash and Jeanette. Ian Waite and Vincent Simone and here comes the girls with Jeanette…Karen Hauer and Nadia. All arranged for next year. Trying to get tickets for Anton and Giovanni …

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Hi @Hmc63, I miss my pilates and dance classes, but I have been doing pilates dvd’s, every day.
What a brilliant mixture of books you read, I am into murder books at the moment and more Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice).
As soon as you mention Strictly, thoughts of winter come to mind, but yes, a guilty pleasure of mine too, even more so since I have taken up dance classes, and I love all the different professionals. I hope you get the tickets you are after, it is great to have something to look forward to after this Covid year.

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I miss being around people. I have found the whole distancing situation quite lonely as I don’t think my family really get how it feels to be stuck at home. I’m working again now, but everything is remote and I just find that quite hard work as well. @Hmc63 I miss the theatre too: my son was an actor when he was at school and we ended up loving the theatre. He was in Goodnight Mr Tom when it won an Olivier. I hope things get more normal soon, but it’s an uphill struggle!

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