Advice for coping with no support in looking after dad
Oh @Kerlst I really feel for you, for me it’s words that really cut me to the quick.
Supporting someone close can sometimes feel like a thankless task.
All I can say is your dad might be going through a tough time too hearing there are no more treatments available for him and as you say your dad can sometimes be not a very nice person.
Perhaps you might calmly sit your dad down and say how you feel, without blame, as I find blaming the other person just makes them defensive.
We cannot change your dad.
Someone once said to me to keep my side of the street clean, then you will no regrets.
You might feel that the person was mad.
In saying that above you must also look after yourself, so perhaps consider setting some clear boundaries and calmly say that you need certain time for yourself as well.
The Blood Cancer UK support line is there for you on 0808 2080 888 and we are here for you to be able to vent and say how it really is for you.
It is not easy and it is such a pity you are in this situation.
Thanks for posting so honestly, I am sure there will be others in a similar situation and I hope they will respond to you.
Be kind to yourself and please do keep posting
Hi @Kerlst
It’s a very emotionally stressful situation you all find yourselves in.
The fear of loss from all of you is very overwhelming.
Don’t ever be sorry for any help that you give in good faith and love
We cannot change people’s reactions but we can do something about our own
The last thing any of you need is for dad to pass this life with regrets and unanswered questions.
Can you and dad have some time together to talk.
Write down what you want to say.
When we ourselves are poorly our cups have to be filled otherwise we run out of energy
Is there anything that you and dad like to do together that’s simple enough to enjoy in hospital and have a heart to heart chat around it?
It sounds like you have been honest with dad and mum with what you can cope with.
You cannot force your brother to do anything and he will have to live with his choices. He maybe struggling himself to cope
All you can control is yourself. Take a little bit of time to breathe and go again. Stay your true self and always be kind if you feel angry take time out
Take care and be kind to yourself