Hi @Amz it is so natural that you anxiety levels are so high just now.
No, you don’t know how your mum will react to the chemo and the worst part is that it is out of your control.
You have us here to support you and perhaps it might be the only place where you can say what and how it is for you and we will understand.
The main thing is that now is the time to look after you so you can support your mum, albeit from afar. Covid times makes things so much more difficult.
Take lots of care and keep posting.
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Thanks @Erica i really appreciate your quick reply. I’m trying so hard to be strong and positive like my mum. Keep telling myself that not all hope is lost, else they wouldn’t even try. Just spoke to her and she is sounding upbeat still, so all we can do is hope.
I really do appreciate this forum, as it’s much easier to express how I feel here, rather than to family all the time, as I know they are hurting too, and don’t want to make them worry more.
Covid really does make things worse, but I’m greatful that our hospital is allowing 1 visitor a day now so we can atleast see her 
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I think it’s the uncertainty isn’t it - it’s a horrible feeling. It makes me so happy that you can see her. However, as Erica said, it’s going go to be hard for you but we are here for you throughout this journey X
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Thank you, I appreciate that a lot.
Mum had her 1st dose of this next chemo today, and it seemed to go okay. Got to see her earlier during it too! Just keeping everything crossed that she doesn’t get too poorly with it, and that it works 
Xx
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Oh @Amz I am so glad that you have seen your mum today. I have still got everything crossed for you all.
Please take care of yourself.
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Me too Erica - so glad! 
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Stay posiitive @Amz . Your mom sounds a very tough person and she’s going to really appreciate having your support through everything she’s going through.
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Thanks ladies 
Mums been feeling okay so far since chemo on Thursday, however she was sick this morning (anti sickness meds worked well thankfully though) and said she was very tired today so we didn’t have a visit, her doctor and nurses said not to worry it’s just the chemo… I’m guessing she will have good and bad days?
It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions right now. I’m trying to stay hopeful, without getting my hopes up… anyone else struggled with this? If so, is there anything that helped you cope? X
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Hi @Amz, yes, I certainly know those rollercoaster oscillating thoughts and emotions, they are so natural and normal.
I do not really know what helped me cope, I think it was someone just saying to accept them as normal and for me music helped, reading, diversion tactics and looking after myself.
Has anyone else got any handy hints?
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There’s nothing else they can do. She’s coming home for palliative care. I’m totally broken and don’t know how I will ever be ok again
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Oh @Amz, this time must be so, so tough for you, perhaps keep just talking to each other and do some enjoyable things together.
We are here for you and you if you would like to talk to someone you can contact the Support Services Team on 0808 2080 888 (Mondays: 10am-7pm, Tuesdays-Fridays: 10am-4pm, Saturday, Sundays and Bank Holidays: 10am-1pm) or via email at support@bloodcancer.org.uk. Please keep posting.
Oh @Amz I am truly sorry. I can only imagine how devastating this must be. Have you got anyone around you right now to help and support you?
As Erica says, we’re here for you, on this forum and also on the support line. If you want one of the team to give you a call, just send me a message and we’ll get it sorted.
So very sorry that you and your family are going through this.
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Thank you both for your replies. It’s nice to have people who understand on here. I’m very grateful for your time and kind words.
Yes I’ve got amazing friends and family luckily. Just wish there was some miracle that could keep my mum here. It’s heartbreaking.
Thank you for the info for the support line. I will keep that in mind xx
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Oh my goodness @Amz, i am so sorry to hear this news and can only imagine how heart broken you must be feeling. You and your family will all be in my thoughts. Take care of each other. Sending Lots and lots of love X
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Hi @Amz I have been wondering how things are, you know we are always here for you.
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Thanks for thinking of me. Very kind of you.
Mums been home for just over a week now. She has good days and bad days.
I’m still struggling to accept it all, but trying to be strong for my mum x
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Great to hear from you @Amz,
I think it is natural to be struggling.
Be kind to yourselves and have the odd treats.
Keep posting.
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I agree with @Erica - be kind to you as well. Off course you want to be strong for your mum but bring strong all off the time is a huge pressure so please off load on here as much as you need to. We are here to listen and support you X
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Thanks ladies.
Mum seems to be getting better and better at home. All seems very strange as they said she had maybe a couple of weeks… and it’s nearly been two. She’s now eating and drinking quite a lot, was barely eating anything in hospital (was munching on a rack of ribs last night lol!), all her confusion has gone away, and the purple/red skin which they said was because of the lymphoma, has almost disappeared.
Has anyone ever had to have a second opinion? I still feel (as does mum) her consultant etc gave up on her too quickly.
I’m going to speak to a lymphoma trial support line tomorrow to see if there is anything they know of trial wise, I know it’s a long shot, but I’d rather look back and say I tried everything I possibly could, than regret not even trying.
Thanks again ladies, very grateful for your support x
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Hi @Amz, I am glad your mum is doing well at home.
Perhaps your mum can always ask her medical team for a referral for a second opinion.
Please let us know how your conversation with the lymphoma trial support line goes.
Take care of yourselves and I have a mental picture of your mum munching her way through a rack of ribs.
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