Hello all, I am wondering if anyone can offer any advice.
I’ve had Multiple Myeloma for 10 years and have continued working as I enjoy my job and like to think I’m good at it. I have a blemish free work record and my appraisals are always excellent.
Recently someone has bought an official grievance against me which has upset and shocked me. I believe it has no merit but I have to go through investigation procedures regardless. This person knows I live with MM and I was wondering if anyone had been through something similar or could offer advice. I plan to put in for ill health retirement this time next year anyhow but I’m upset and disturbed and this is making me feel really unwell and exhausted.
Gosh @Mothas that sounds very stressful for you. Have you got much support at the moment? Sorry you’re going through an upsetting time.
If you need some advice you might find ACAS helpful as they offer free and impartial advice on workplace issues - Dealing with problems at work | Acas
Contact us | Acas
If you want to talk things through please feel free to give our support line a call.
Really glad you’ve reached out on here to see if others have been through something similar.
Hi @Mothas this must be so stressful, upsetting and exhausting for you especially as you say that you have always enjoyed your job, perhaps you also feel very isolated.
@Alice_BloodCancerUK has given you good advice, there is also a union if you are a member of one and Citizens Advice. As you say this is making you feel unwell so your staff welfare might be useful if you have one.
We are also here to support you on here so you are not alone.
I hope others might be able to share their experiences too, please let us know how you are getting on.
Take lots of care of yourself.
Hi @Mothas. It’s sounds like a really stressful time for you. I have used ACAS in the past and have found them really useful so I would suggest giving them a try.
Let us know how you get on
Hi @Mothas , I am so sad for you that you have this work stress. A few years ago I had a similar problem. I had a new boss who changed my work conditions until it was not possible to complete all my tasks. I had a team of seventeen staff to manage and they were so good. I asked for some advice from occupational health and was awaiting an appointment. In the meantime she reported to the Governors that my attendance was poor. I got a print out and found that meeting at other schools were entered as absence. Not true. I phoned the Occupational Health to discover that she was stringing me along and had never contacted them. A solicitor advised me that she had a case to answer but with my two sons both in exam classes in the school, after consideration, I alerted the Governors but did not take action. I handed my notice in and then received ten job offers from other schools. It lifted me so much. I went to work in another school where I was truly valued and where the autonomy I had allowed me to work through plans and get a real sense of achievement. When I left ten years later they replaced me with three staff because I had taken on additional responsibilities.
Do not undermine yourself by feeling as if you have failed. I feel content about my career and meet past students who appreciate me. One boss with a hidden agenda did not stop me but it was close!!
Hi Mothas, I am sorry that you are having to deal with this, but it’s difficult to advise you without knowing more about the type of grievance and the size/nature of the organisation. I am an HR professional and have defended many who have had grievances brought against them. So, without full knowledge of your situation, my advice is to familiarise yourself well with the HR protocols of your organisation, involve your Union rep (if you are a member) and get a colleague to support you.
Unfortunately, although it adds to the stress of the situation for you personally, your health condition will not be considered in investigating the grievance - unless the grievance is linked directly to your attendance or competence to perform your role. If you have a good HR department, then they should deal with this fairly and quickly and, if the grievance has no merit, it will be dismissed. If, however, there is merit in the complaint, then you should still receive fair treatment and receive either a verbal or written warning - unless you have committed a sackable offence, of course.
I wish you good luck and hope that it is resolved soon and fairly. As I said, just don’t try to bring your health condition to bear unless it is directly relevant.
Any news @Mothas? I’ve been wondering how you got on
Hello all thanks for the replies, it’s incredibly stressful, I had my meeting with the investigator on Thursday and will know what the outcome is with a couple of weeks. I’ll report back then but obviously I will have to be circumspect with what I say.
Good to hear from you @Mothas. It must so hard waiting. Please take care of yourself for the next couple of weeks X
Oh @Mothas , I really hate the waiting.
Please let us know the outcome, be kind to yourself and take lots of care of yourself
Thinking of you and hoping all is well with you.
Hello everyone thanks for the kind messages, I heard yesterday that there was no case to answer in the grievance bought against me so I am hugely relieved.
It has been a horrendous experience that lasted 6 months, and I am now extremely tired. I’d appreciate any advice from HR people on here what my next steps should be, should I do a counter grievance against this person?
That’s really good news. I think that’s only a decision you can make and if you feel you have the strength to do it? Would it make you feel better or cause more stress?
Oh @Mothas what a lengthy nightmare you have lived through, you must be mentally, emotionally, physically and practically exhausted.
Also It leaves such a nasty taste in the mouth.
But @Nichola75 puts it so well.
Perhaps give yourself time and space and really look after yourself so you are in the best space possible before making a decision.
Please let us know what you decide and there is no right or wrong, your welfare comes first.
Thanks for the responses everyone, I’ve decided not to put in a counter grievance.
Firstly I’m extremely tired and secondly I’m a firm believer in “they go low, you go high”
As someone whose life is already limited by my Myeloma I’m pretty angry that I’ve waisted having to deal with this. Time is precious as we all know.
Yes @Mothas time is precious and your health, welfare and well being comes first, we all understand and I am so sorry that you have been through such a nasty ordeal.
You have done so well.
Look after yourself and keep posting please.
I think that’s a really sensible decision. Your first priority is yourself. Take care and keep us updated on how you are doing
I am so chuffed for you. I rose above it all and you will too.
I tilt my gin and tonic to you and toast your new future. Live your best life!
Unfortunately this person has decided to take this to an employment tribunal and have a prior right to appeal so I’m not out of the woods yet although the tribunal claim is bought against my employer rather than me.