Seems like relapse is the only explanation

Hi folks. I don’t really know why im posting as it feels vey hard to do so. Almost like i don’t want to voice the words. My husband has been living with a rare form of Non-Hodgkin lymphoma (NHL) since 2015 and finished treatment in 2018. If you’ve seen any of my previous replies, youll know these haven’t been easy years for us.

He is currently really ill while they investigate a major relapse. It has, literally, happened in days. He has already started to get blood transfusions as his blood counts have deteriorated so much and so fast. He has a bone marrow aspirate next week and we hope a treatment plan or options after that. Of course the waiting is rubbish and long and he deteriorates every day.

I turned 50 last week and all the hopes for marking it were not possible. Its not about the celebrations, or the gifts or fuss but it would have been lovely to have had it pass with some marker. Instead i spent the day with him at hospital and when not doing that, cancelling a really significant USA holiday we had planned as a family. This was a holiday to mark our family, our boy finishing school and getting ready to head to uni in Sept, to be with my best friend’s family on the day she should have turned 50 and to celebrate our lives. It had more significance than i can explain. It was booked with full clinical permission, all declared for insurance purposes and here we go again with cancelling it. This was a trio originally planned for 2016 but N was then faced with cancer and treatment. And we waited 9yrs and boom, here we are again.

Im sad about all of it. Frightened. 10yrs older this time for the fight and thoroughly jaded. And devastated that my lovely husband faces it all again. He is a shadow of who he was just now and its awful. Our now 17yr old is so scared and sad and trying to be so brave. And im trying to hold it all together while working, parenting, advocating and caring.

I just wanted to reach out to this place where people get it. Thank you for listening.

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Oh @judesadventures, I certainly get it, although I also cannot imagine what you are all going through, thanks so, so much for posting.
Just when you dare to think, dream and plan and it comes out of nowhere and whams you all.
You certainly really, really deserved a very special, but poignant, 50th birthday,
I think it is so natural to feel sad and frightened and perhaps loads more thoughts and emotions.
Please do remember the Blood Cancer UK support nurses are there for you all on 0808 2080 888.
We are all there for you all too, even your boy.
Even if your batteries had been fully charged I would personally say trying to juggle working, parenting, advocating and caring might be just too much.
I am sending you all a very loving supply of hugs and please do keep posting xxxxx

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Hi @judesadventures

What an awful thing you are all experiencing, am so sorry to read this .
@Erica has given you a really good response and I would echo all that she has said .
It’s really tough that you have to watch your husband go through this and support your boy as well . Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself some time to just feel what you are feeling because it’s absolutely understandable!

Take care best wishes to you all

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I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I have put a couple of links here that might be helpful.

Blood Cancer UK link to mind and emotions
Blood cancer: mind and emotions | Blood Cancer UK

Glad the forum is a place you can express your worries. I have found that it really is for me and that this helps me enormously.

The Blood Cancer UK support line is also there for you on 0808 2080 888.

Thinking of you both.

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