That's what friends are for?

A subject that seems to come up in forums for cancer patients all the time is the " my friends just don’t seem to get what it’s like to have cancer " and it got me thinking , is that what friends are really for ? I have come to conclusion that it’s the job of friends to treat you normally and carry on including you in their regular activities as they can’t really put themselves in your shoes but can stop you becoming isolated during treatment, which seems to be a problem for many patients. I am interested to hear what you all think as this issue seems to be a source of angst for many people.


Hi @Alfie. I have been fortunate in that my close friends have been great. When I was having treatment our girls nights out were moved close to home and a lift was arranged to and from home. When I was able to go on our weekends away again, sometimes I stayed in the cottage while the rest went for a walk, then I wasn’t too exhausted to enjoy the evening chats. My first break they even borrowed a wheelchair to take me round Matlock. Other friends made great efforts to visit from around the country and bonds were made stronger. Sometimes compromise is required, but we all need to remember that compromise is 2 way. Also meeting with friends is a chance to forget cancer. Our group has shared laughter and tears over the years, and we are always there for each other


What priceless friends you have, you are a very lucky girl.

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Hi Alfie what a brilliant post and a very good question. I agree with what you are saying, but I kinda think my wonderful friends are there for me, and me for them, for whatever my/our needs are at the time and we each support each other both emotionally and physically, but we need to be able to be honest enough to say our thoughts and needs. You have made me realise lucky I am with the friends I have today. Since my diagnosis I have lost and chosen not to continue my friendship with some friends and gained some friends, some of which don’t actually know about my diagnosis at this point, but if appropriate I will tell them in the future. I get so much support from this community forum too.


Hi Alfie,

I agree with you on this as I personally find it such a relief to spend quality time with my friends and feel normal ! It’s like respite for your own mental health :slight_smile: