Hi all
hope you’re doing okay ,
am just writing as am feeling a little low and frustrated .I don’t need anything and have an appointment with my consultant at the beginning of February so will tell her how I feel then but
I am just having a “bit of a day “ and need to vent a little… so thank you
But anyway I am frustrated with this weird low level sense of.feeling unwell I seem to have with my Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (CLL)) , am not truly unwell but am not quite right
Have pain in my left side under my ribs which my GP has tested everything for ( everything has come back reassuring) but the pain is persistent so she referred me for an ultra sound but apparently the generalised pain is not enough to warrant the ultrasound as everything has come back normal My lymph nodes are growing but they’re still at a level not to be concerned about but I feel I look awful and not at all like myself
Sorry you can see am feeling a little sorry for myself
My apologies for the lengthy vent ,
Does anyone else ever feel like this or am I just being a little daft
I’m really glad you could let us know how you are feeling today. It’s so important to be able to vent and have a moan and in here you can be really honest about things.
I’m on active monitoring for lymphoma and don’t have any symptoms at the moment. However, I completely understand how you are feeling and I think we’ve all been there.
I think when you are feeling low and not yourself everything can feel worse and it affects both physical and emotional wellbeing, especially the way we feel about ourselves.
You are definitely not being daft at all. Remember, you can vent on here as often as you want. We are all here to listen and support each other. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have this space.
Can you plan something nice for yourself? I always think a treat helps.l X
Oh @DottieB, I really feel for you and totally empathise about having days where all the smaller parts of living with blood cancer add up to making us feel rubbish overall. Isn’t it so utterly rubbish?! Moan away, I say. I’d rather get my complaints out of my system than carry on carrying them around, affecting my mood. This is exactly the right place to vent.
I’m just getting over spraining my back and of course I catastrophised about my lack of mobility being the end of the world and how would I ever get up from sitting without wincing in pain and when will I ever get outside again etc. However, I rested for a few days and did gentle stretches and today the shooting pain is gone, so I’m heading out for a stroll, even in this fog!
Maybe you’ll have a day soon when instead of everything adding up to annoy you it’ll feel a little bit more peaceful in your body. I’ll keep my fingers crossed you have days like that soon @DottieB.
Thanks Nichola
I really appreciate your kind words and taking the time to respond to my moan
You are absolutely spot on ,
I think everything does feel worse when you are feeling low and not yourself
Thank you so much
Hi Duncan
Sorry about your back, I hope you’re okay and recovering well
I find getting out for a walk always makes me feel better but am struggling to move today , the mist we have here and the grey days don’t help
I will get out tomorrow for a walk as it will help but today am going to rest
Thank you for your kindness and understanding
Best wishes
Aw thank you too @DottieB. I’m glad you know the joys of simply walking. So far so good, my back has managed a little walk with no issues, but thank you for the best wishes.
Hopefully it’ll be less grey there tomorrow for you to enjoy a stroll too. Or maybe you could just head out regardless wearing your favourite warm, dry clothes—I love a good foggy walk!
Oh @DottieB I feel really honoured that you feel you can be honest with your friends on here and have a moan and vent.
I certainly recognise your feelings of having ‘a bit of a day’
yes, I am a great believer in fresh air and appropriate exercise.
I also feel for @Duncan as I know he likes his fresh air and exercise .
I had a fall 10 days ago, my fault entirely.
I have a small fracture of my pelvis and bruising and it has been particularly painful today, ggggrrrrrrr, it takes so long to do anything.
What a trio we make.
Yep a good moan sounds good to me.
Be ever so kind to yourselves and please do keep being honest on here, thank you.
Yes, have a treat sounds good to me
Oh @Erica! Poor you with your own back issues!!! You broke a bone, that must have been (still be?!) so painful, oh goodness. I’m in awe that you’ve been here supporting others through that.
I empathise with what you said about things taking longer with back pain. It’s been so frustrating trying to avoid it by doing everything in s l o w m o t i o n . . . I hope you’re well on the mend and have found some comfortable positions to sit/lay in!
And yes, what a trio we are! Tomorrow is another day so I’m hoping we all wake with fewer niggles!
I saw that it’s your anniversary of diagnosis dear @Erica and I just wanted to say thank you again for everything you do for us all around the forum. Here’s to another year of your healthful success 
@Erica, you really are amazing! You are so kind, understanding and supportive of us all - a million thank yous, especially when you are coping with so much. I am truly sorry to hear about your fall and subsequent damage to your pelvis. It’s so hard when our bones are so fragile. I really sympathise with that. I slipped in my newly renovated bathroom in June and fractured five ribs. They still haven’t healed and in addition I developed a lung infection which has also persisted. I am so fed up with it. I have had IV antibiotics as an inpatient and numerous oral antibiotics and now I have been told my liver function has seriously been affected by all the antibiotics and so it goes on … Obviously I am more or less shielding as I cannot risk picking up any other infections in addition to the one I already have in my lung! Thanks for reading this epistle! Thinking of you so much @Erica especially with the anniversary of your diagnosis too. I often think all the support you give on this forum must be like a full time job for you! Warmest wishes and appreciation. Willow x
Oh @Willow thank you for your lovely post.
I often think of you too and what you have on your great big plate and that you just get on with it.
I had put my slippers in the washing machine and was wearing socks and walking on the tiled kitchen floor and I just went, and landed on my bottom, as you know these things happen so quickly.
The pains are slightly different every day.
I will celebrate my cancerversary when I feel better and after my cholesterol and Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (CLL) blood tests tomorrow!!!
Please do look after and be ever so kind to yourself, I don’t think you realise how special you are xxxx
i
@Duncan
Thank you, I will be out tomorrow come rain or shine !
Thank you again for your kindness, I hope you continue to recover well and enjoy your walks
Take care
Oh Erica
That sounds painful!
I so hope you recover quickly. Thank you so much to listening to my moan when you have so much going on !
You are such a wonderful person Erica , you always know just what to say to us all . I find your words so helpful
Thank you for looking out for us
Take care
@Erica. You make sure you are taking good care of yourself. Take care when out and about tomorrow x
DottieB I hope you are improving, it’s the season for viruses etc which can make you feel rotten. It’s good to get it out of your system, we all need to be able to say how we really feel as family and friends do not always understand. So we put on a smile and say we are fine when in reality we are not.
Duncan hopefully your back is fully recovered and it’s good you are able to enjoy nature,
Erica I am so sorry to hear about your fall. Look after yourself and give your body the time it needs to heal.
Willow no wonder you are feeling fed up. Persistent lung infections and broken ribs are no joke. Shielding is hard hope you can enjoy christmas.
Best wishes Liz59
Thanks @Liz59
I am feeling much better , thank you!
I was having a bit of a day and really appreciated the space to have a vent
As you say it’s good to get it out .
I hope all is good with you?
Have a lovely festive season
Dottie B have a lovely festive season also. Best wishes, Liz59
Thank you @Liz59 for thinking of me. That is very kind of you. I hope you can have a peaceful Christmas. Warm wishes Willow x
I just wanted to send you all big hugs
It’s ok to not be ok too.
Hi @Willow wow you have so much going on as usual and yes, I have had a little (well big actually) moan and have a great resentment and possibly anger at my kitchen floor, when it was actually my own fault. I hope it has not done the same for you, with your newly renovated bathroom.
I have been to the hospital for my rheumatology 6 mthly injection this morning and I have walked over 2,000 steps in all. I just missed a bus and I nearly burst into tears at the bus stop !!
This is terrible to say but I also feel this resentment towards people that overtake me when I am struggling to walk.
You must be so,so fed up as ribs are so painful and I know the problems you have healing.
You also show so well as you start off with one condition and end up with at least two more.
I would love another poem from you when you feel up to it.
I will celebrate my cancerversary in the new year when I feel less sick from the painkillers.
The holiday season can bring up so many thoughts and emotions and also all our medical issues.
We will be about on our our forum.
Take so much special care of yourself xxxxx
Hello @Duncan just checking in to see how you are ???
I keep on thinking of your s l o w m o t i o n it describes my mobility so well.
Be very kind to yourself