Hello lovely Forum community, I’ve a question for you. Do you have particular words or phrases that sometimes get you through the difficult days?
Our Blood Cancer UK social media team are keen to hear what resonates with people affected by blood cancer so they can share supportive words more widely, and I hope it’s good for us here to see what helps each other too.
For me, I actually found the pressure to be positive/strong all the time while going through chemo exhausting. I was 30, and felt like life was passing me by while my friends were getting on with their lives. So a couple of mantras I clung to were ‘you don’t need to bloom every season’ and, similarly, ‘you’re allowed to be a human being, not a human doing’.
I’d love to hear what’s helped you - whether it’s something like a quote, something you tell yourself, words someone said that just landed right, or even an image?
So - what I didn’t like was you’re so brave. I wasn’t brave, I didn’t have a choice. Joining the forum, and speaking to close friends, these two phrases really helped me on those difficult days when I wasn’t feeling brave:
It’s ok not to be ok’ and ‘Be kind to yourself’
I got better at really taking these on board and gave myself permission to have a bad day and started to understand how to be kind to myself. This was much more beneficial to my wellbeing, rather than bottling things up.
Love this @Ceri_BloodCancerUK. I bet we could share many more things said to ourselves that are probably unprintable! And wow Ceri you were only 30 at diagnosis, that can’t have been fun at all. I’m so glad you’re here now.
After diagnosis I quickly realised there was a lot of war language used in cancer circles which just doesn’t resonate with me. I didn’t go to war, I was attacked. I don’t feel like I’m in a battle or beating it or fighting. I’m living with it. I’m relieved to be able to simply live with it.
Perhaps like you Ceri, I can find optimistic language rather toxic. The need to always put a positive spin on surviving these disorders can, I believe, be its own sort of emotional trap. What if we don’t actually feel optimistic about it?! I’d rather we tell it like it is.
My favourite phrase, which I learnt early on from a lovely forum member (hey there @GrandmaJo, hope you’re well), actually became my MO when fatigue is bad—rest and resume. I tell myself to rest from whatever activity I’m doing when fatigue takes over and then resume it later.
It can also help break any potentially exhausting tasks into smaller bits, like when making multi-stage meals or planning trips or whatever, so a great tip for life really!
Looking forward to seeing what other members share.
Funnily enough someone said to me this afternoon how well I looked when I was really feeling yukky. Mind you it is partly my fault because I know I put my default smiley mask on.
It is a strength to ask for and receive help, this too will pass, look after yourself as well as you look after others, take it a day, hour or minute at a time, time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time, 7 out of 10 is good enough, it’s OK to take time out for myself, slow and steady wins the race, why ruin today with something that may not happen tomorrow, I feel a bit better, then overdo it, and feel worse than I did before, a flower needs sun and rain to grow and bloom and be pleasantly assertive, it is OK to have a nap, break tasks down into bite sized chunks.
Oh imagine one of those little books quoting these phrases dear @Nichola75, love that idea of compiling these! The Little Book Of Living With Blood Cancer So true about us not having a choice about being brave, we have to get on with it regardless!
Got to say you made me smile @Erica, I can imagine you gritting your teeth hearing how well you looked! Totally agree about asking for or receiving help being a strength, I’m still practicing this and as we know practice makes perfect! I always remember you recommending we be pleasantly assertive—this I am getting better at, living in the US where the loudest voice seems to succeed most.
This is such a good topic @Ceri_BloodCancerUK. Thank you so much for introducing it and thank you to everyone who has contributed so far @Erica@DuncanB@Rammie18@Duncan@Nichola75. For the past few years I have chosen a word for the year and using large adhesive letters I have put the word in the front of my diary. Previous words have included, hope, trust, grow and mend. My word for 2026 is soft, chosen partly because of a quote I read in Charlie Mackesy’s new book which says, “when life is hard go softly with yourself.” A bookmark I received a while ago has the words “there is strength in your softness” written on it. Some may think of softness as weakness but I see it as strength. To finish here is a simple poem I have written for 2026 …
Your attitude is more important
Than your attainments;
Your posture more important
Than your position;
Your empathy more important
Than your energy;
Your gentleness more important
Than your grandeur;
Your listening more important
Than your lecture;
Your softness more important
Than your strength;
Your kindness more important
Than your kinship;
Your generosity more important
Than your gain.
As very much a words person I always write down phrases that resonate and keep them in my diary.
Current favourites:
Progress is more important than perfection, know that all the good choices you make add up.
The difference between misery and happiness depends on what we do with our attention. (Sharon Salzberg)
I am not I, I am the one walking beside me whom I do not see, who at times I manage to visit and at times forget, the one who remains silent when I talk, the one who forgives (sweet) when I hate, the one who takes a walk when I am indoors and the one who remains standing when I die. (Juan Ramon Jiminez).
Live life as if everything is rigged in your favour. (Rumi)
Do not feel alone, the whole universe is inside you. (Rumi)
And when I need a boost for the day or a bit of clarity:
What in your life is calling you? When all the noise is silenced, the meetings adjourned, the lists laid aside and the wild iris blooms by itself in the dark forest. What still pulls on your soul? (Rumi)
Hi Everyone. I was diagnosed with PVR and Essential thrombocythemia (ET) in June 2024 and didn’t cope well with the treatment at the start. Things are better now - but it’s been up and down and the battle language of fighting cancer didn’t resonate with me. It can be frustrating when people tell you - ‘you look well’ and you feel awful. I also felt the need to keep being active. What helped me was to remind myself that rest is not failure - it is important and necessary. It’s ok to not feel ok and to take time out and rest. Strength is admitting that you are not well and it’s absolutely fine to slow down or stop - and look after yourself. I learnt the hard way - I didn’t stop pushing myself and got hospitalised (twice - I am slow learner). Now I say to myself - it’s ok to not feel ok and rest is not failure.
So true about us not having a choice about being brave, we have to get on with it regardless!